Grieving and Midterms and Prayers

As I have attended the Greifsahre meetings and do the exercises in the workbook then my grieving process has taken me into caverns of my soul that I have not known before. There are some raw feelings bubbling up. Thee have been moments that my body literally shook. 

This also might relate to my Enneagram Type 1 disappointments with the imperfections in myself and in society as reflected in the sensational news coming up to midterm elections. 

My deep resentments that my dad was not wise and caring is projected on how mad I have felt that Congress has behaved like immature and selfish teens instead of honorable and admirable leaders for decades.  

I have wanted to have male role models as political leaders but I have had none. 

I will be glad when the midterm election is behind us. 

It is acceptable to be in touch with my feelings that I normally brush aside. I do not want to deny or ignore my internal reality. For this season I want to give myself totally over to the grieving process. 

For days I have been instinctively and suddenly praying --- Thy Kingdom come and Thy will be done, This has happened several times a day from a deep place inside but not the rest of the Lord's Prayer. I do not understand what that means. But please pray that over me. 

This might or might not be related. I have been cursing in my mind with angry thoughts. That had been rare but has become more frequent. 

THANKS again for all your prayers. 

Shalom

John