Video Tour of the mess from my current processes

I am in the middle of rearranging many things in my residence. I was going to show when it was all neat and tidy. And I will do that later. But here is my present reality.

This is like going behind the scenes of the making of a movie.

It is my way to show and tell how I deal with my life.

This is the real deal, Lucille. Here is John S. Oliver in the trenches while paving the way for launching and leading an online ministry.  

I am converting my walk-in closet into a prayer closet like in the movie War Room that I watched on Amazon Prime

Here is IMDB page  https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3832914/

Here are some Youtube clips

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvBUfx9_kRoGexuOLr3iKtg/videos?view=0&sort=p&flow=grid

I am going through about a dozen boxes of paper files from the last 20 years. They had been packed away in storage. As I sort them then about 20 percent will be useful in the coming months.

I intend to make short videos to review and recommend those books that have changed my life. So they are piled up to be categorized.

Please pray for me to make steady progress on these projects in the coming days.

Here is the link to the video. WARNING it is rather long - 18 minutes. So you might want to watch it in more than one sitting.

https://youtu.be/zfGPDJnikO8

Shalom

John

How I intend to optimize my 66th birthday that is today

Normally I consider my birthday as just another ordinary day.

At my age numbers are not important.

My biological family is just my brother Jim and my nephew Trevor who is in St Louis.

I did receive greetings from my stepmother Pili who is in Hawaii and still grieving the passing of my dad about a year ago.

SO there is no way for all family members to gather face-to-face for birthdays, Christmas, etc.

Therefore my church family and those who receive these emails are my extended family.

I do not have a vehicle nor much spare money. So I must keep it simple today.

I will go to a local Steak and Shake for a meal. And I will bring home some Haagen Dazs ice cream.

I have decided to set aside my normal projects and tasks for this day.

I began the day by journaling. There have been many thoughts and feelings that have kept bouncing around inside of me. When I write those down then they do not trouble me in the same way. I have more peace. Then other junk comes up later.

Yesterday was especially disturbing.

During Lent, I had given up watching the news and commentaries. That led to more peace of mind and more times for short prayers.

So Lent ended on Easter and I went back to a few of my favorite sources. And that was a shock to my system. All kinds of internal junk got stirred up. And that is part of what I need to journal about today and later.

Also, I find myself taking much longer to launch the online business. There are logical reasons and emotional factors that I need to put into writing.

As an Enneagram Type 1 that is called a Perfectionist and Reformer, there are always matters to journal about.  I never live up to my impossibly high expectations of myself. I often feel disappointed that those in Washington DC have not led our country in wise ways over the decades.  I feel sad and disappointed that the Church has not been a bright and shining beacon of love and light to effectively heal this sick world.

As I pause to journal this has and will lead to the release of emotions. It has and will lead to the resurfacing of neglected memories. It has and will lead to sensations in my body. All of that is part of the healing process that I have experienced dozens of times before over the decades. It is just that I never set aside a day for marathon journaling.

I know that journaling is not common or popular. But online I have encountered many leaders from various backgrounds that tell stories of how journaling has helped them in all kinds of conditions.

I began to journal many years ago using the Morning Pages that is taught by Julia Cameron  https://juliacameronlive.com/basic-tools/morning-pages/ I have boxes that are filled with legal pads of my journaling. Most mornings I write 3 pages. I strongly encourage you to make this a healthy habit too.

All of this journaling will surely lead me to pray much better. I will have access to fresh thoughts, feelings, insights, and more. I have been gradually converting my walk-in closet into a prayer closet like in the movie War Room. Typically I go in there for a few minutes a few times a day. But I quickly run out of fuel for prayers. This journaling will lead to better prayers today. Plus I will make lists of prompts for prayers later.

PRAYER
Please pray for me to excel at journaling today and consistently for the rest of my life.

CONCLUSION
In conclusion, let me share with you the long version of the Serenity Prayer that has helped me untold numbers of times over the decades. When I have been going through a rough patch I would post a printed copy near my computer monitor. Then I would pray it and reflect on it as often as needed.


This is so important that I will offer you 3 versions.

What follows is the raw text.

Here is a link to a Google Doc where I have laid it out in an attractive way.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FcJ1uZeBXl5j2z0f1KH288tlGCHKlgHfEW02meNIz14/edit?usp=sharing 

And in the attachment, you can access that same Google Doc

Serenity Prayer
(long version)

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change,

courage to change the things I can

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time.

Enjoying one moment at a time.

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace.

Taking as He did this sinful world as it is,

not as I would have it.

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will.

That I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.

Amen

Reinhold Niebuhr

Progress, Guidance, and Birthday

Thankfully God continues to answer many prayers.

PROGRESS
There has been steady progress in moving my data into the online service named Wrike www.wrike.com

This is used by small and medium-sized businesses so I will not likely outgrow it like the service I had been using.

There are many features that I am learning how to apply to better organize my personal and professional life.

In the past, I had too many active projects. So I felt scattered and overwhelmed. I lacked focus. So I rarely completed projects.

This tool has been used by all kinds of companies to help organize the projects and prioritize the tasks.

I have been viewing the online tutorials and recorded webinars to guide me in better harnessing the potentials here.

Please pray for my learning and applying the lessons best suited to this season of my life.

My intention is to use this service an online hub to plan and act on what God is guiding me to do for His glory.


GUIDANCE
Just over a year ago my dad died. What followed was many months of grieving.

God answered many prayers. The Lord Jesus Christ led to work with Griefshare https://www.griefshare.org/ The weekday meetings at the local church and workbook helped me process a massive tangle of feelings, memories, thoughts, and more.

That season of grief has passed for me.

And when God brings across my path those that are grieving I am glad to highly recommend Griefshare https://www.griefshare.org/

Then as my grieving ended and the New Year began I felt that God was guiding me to shift from online ministry to online business. Those are similar but different.

My brother has been studying online business for years and passed to excellent resources and lessons. Plus I had been studying Internet marketing to apply to a ministry for years.

Honestly, I had hoped and expected that my business would be up and running long before now.

A huge part of the delay had been finding this online time management tool named Wrike.

When an online business is fully operational then there are lots of activities to coordinate. There needs to be ongoing marketing to attract new customers. there need to be ways to actively serve the growing customer base, and there needs to be time to keep making more digital products.

That needs to happen while also managing all the personal life issues.

So I request your best prayers that all that comes together gracefully and that I gain healthy habits related to managing these affairs.


BIRTHDAY
I will turn 66 years old on April 23, 2019.

I have a peculiar set of feelings this year.

When I was in my teens and 20s anyone over 50 seemed very old.

The majority of my neighbors are widows in their 70s and 80s. They kid about how young I am.

I attend a church where there are mostly young families. I am old enough to be the grandfather of the small children. There are some that are my age that attend to visit but none are steady members.

For weeks before I turned 60 years old I felt a deep internal crisis. I have not felt anything like that before or after 60.

My father lived to be 94 and only in the last year did his health decline.

Both of my grandfathers lived to 83 and they were fit until the end.

So I expect to live until at least 80 and probably past 90.

Thankfully I have had a few minor health challenges all my life.

Deep inside I feel like I did when I was in my 40s.

I put together an Amazon Wish List to share with you and others. Generally, I live a very simple lifestyle. God has been continually teaching me about the difference between my needs and my wants.

I guess I would be a hard person to buy a gift for, so I listed some clothes, one electronic item, one book, and some ergonomic aids here https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2KW8X9LCE6FFV

I think my shipping address is included in the Wish List. But if it is not then here it is 1600 W lake Bardwell DR  unit 137, Ennis TX 75119

And here is my Paypal link that God has used for many years to bring funds to me right on time https://www.freewebs.com/jsohub/give.htm

THANKS againfor all your prayers. I could not have made it this far without many answered prayers.

Shalom
John

My Anxieties about Vacation Preparations

By the grace of God, I will fly from Love Field in Dallas to St Louis tomorrow March 21.

I will return on Tuesday. March 26.

Such travel is common for most who will read this. But like I shared previously, it has been 16 years since I went on a vacation.

My anxiety is not related to actual flying. I have done that a few times.

What follows is a simple summary of my concerns for your best prayers.


PACKING
The anonymous sponsors of this vacation have loaned me their carry on bag. That was kind. But it presents a challenge for me.

I am clueless about how to pack for 6 days in such a small space. I am not big into clothes or fashion. But I do not know what I might want when there. I would feel better if I was taking 3 such bags. But I will take just this one.

The 10-day forecast for St Louis ranges from 60 to 30 with snow on the last day I am there https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/us/mo/st.-louis

I am reminded of my experiences in the Boy Scouts when I went camping and sailing. I learned the hard way to Be Prepared. So I often packed more than my peers just to make sure I had all I might need or want.

I will have money so I can buy what I really need or borrow it from my brother. But I would feel bad if I had just neglected to pack that item.

I find that I am packing various things in my medicine cabinet in small quantities.



EATING
Some of the medicine cabinet items relate to the risk that my gut will react to the different kinds of food. My normal food intake is the same all the time. I enjoy exploring different kinds of foods. But I admit that I fear my stomach might not be as happy as my taste buds.


CONNECTIONS
The generous sponsors provided a gift card to Uber. So the plan is to leave my apartment Thursday morning to make the 10:05 AM flight at Love Field. That is a 50 minute car trip in no traffic and I need to arrive early.

I hope to leave here with Uber at 7:00 AM just to be extra early. But I admit that I feel anxiety about this matter. I cannot control all the variables.  And missing that flight would be bad.

Please pray for smooth connections going and coming.


TSA
While I have not flown on airplanes for years, I have been to airports to pick up people. I have seen TSA inspectors doing their job.

Let me be honest with you. There is something deep inside that dislikes such a requirement.

I do not like the invasion of privacy.

The inconvenience for all passengers irritates me.

The goofy rules about shoes and 3 ounces of liquid are excessive.

I have gone into federal and city buildings where I needed to get screened.

The suspicion that every person might be a terrorist too much Big Brother for me.

I understand the reasoning. But that does not stop my internal issue.

I will take some ibuprofen to steady my nerves before I leave.


BROTHER
My brother has a corporate job and he has a side hustle.

His corporate job is for a cloud computing company. His work is like a project manager. He coordinates the activities of many geeks to keep their projects moving. He works from home and uses conference calls plus online enterprise software.

He dislikes his job. He has been studying various ways to earn an income online for many years. For the last 2 years, he has been studying ClickFunnels https://www.clickfunnels.com/ That company has provided the online services and training to help many thousands of people in all kinds of fields to leave their corporate jobs and work from home making more income while enjoying it. I have been studying the ClickFunnels system and I intend to use it in the coming months.

Here is the kicker. My brother was laid off last week. He has one more week with the company. So his mental and emotional life is impacted.

Jim is 3 years younger than me and I am 65.

I do not know what he will do next. He might go all out to start his online business.


NEPHEW
My nephew Trevor also lives in St Louis. I have not seen Jim or Trevor in 16 years. I talked with Jim for 1 to 2 hours every few weeks. But I have never talked with Trevor.

Jim invited him to share a meal with us.

I feel some anxiety about what that might be like.


FUN
When the sponsors offer to pay for me to visit my brother it was for Christmas. But my brother said it was too busy then on his side hustle.

Plus he had week-long trainings for ClickFunnels in January and February.

So that pushed the date to March. Even now he says he will be busy with his corporate job and side hustle.

He did not want me to stay with him in his small residence. So the sponsors are paying for a hotel room for me. And I asked for a hotel near a huge park like the size of Central Park in NYC.

Personally, I would like to spend every minute in St Louis with Jim. But that will not work for him. So I will likely be walking in the park and going to the museums there.

I love to walk and especially in nature.

I like some museums more than others.

As a workaholic, I have struggled to weave rest into my life. It has been difficult but in the past 20 years rest has become a natural part of my daily and weekly rhythms.

However, fun has been elusive for me. Lots of productivity, creativity and self-help lessons point to the value of fun. I understand the theory. I just have not gained the practice.

So I am calling this trip a vacation instead of just a family visit. In my heart and mind, I will be seeking opportunities to rest and especially explore fun.

I request your best prayers for me to weave fun into my life in the coming days, weeks. months, and years.


RECORD
Most who read this have a smartphone and often take pictures as well as short videos of special occasions. That is all new to me.

I have recorded videos on my laptop many times. But I have rarely used my smartphone.

I want to share this adventure with others. So pray that part goes well.

Shalom
John

Delays due to shopping and experimenting

I returned from my vacation to St Louis more than a week ago.

On the first day, I felt exhausted and sore. Things got better for the next 2 days.

It was my plan to send out a simple summary of my trip with photos and links last weekend.

BUT I learned the hard way that I was not nearly ready to do that or other projects.

I told about my troubles with the online mind mapping service I had been using for years. I was locked out for weeks then I got a few replies but I have not had access to my data from many years. Please pray for me to gain access soon.  The name of the company is Comapping and the contact person is Michael.

The other online service I had been using has become jammed up with a jumble of far too many tasks. I have been limping along with that until I find the replacement.

I had a software download that I started to use before I went on vacation. I had begun to get comfortable with it. BUT when I returned it started to freeze and need to be restarted at the wrong moments.

SO for the past week, I have been shopping for a way to organize my projects and tasks online as well as produce useful digital products.

During this week I have spent many hours using 2 services that seemed promising. BUT their online training and support did not work for me.

SO I went shopping online AGAIN.

I found a service that has ALMOST all I want plus another one that has those missing parts.

So my current challenge is to plunge into those 2 and move up those learning curves.

HOPEFULLY, the summary report will be sent to you SOON. And that will mean that I have found a suitable digital workbench.

IF those prove to be useful for me I will share their names and request your best prayers.

Meanwhile, it feels like the backlog of projects, tasks, and writings is like the growing pond that forms behind a beaver's damn. WHEN I have begun applying these online services daily THEN the stream will flow again.

As I consider the coming months and years I will need a wide range of online services that work together. These will be used to make and market digital educational modules using text, audio and video Also I will lead an online community of learners.

Several times a week the Lord leads me to another website that will prove useful to reach and teach many online. So I put the links into orderly collections for future reference. This feels like encouragement from God during these difficult days. It is like confirmation that the direction I am headed will prove fruitful after I have worked out the techie tools needed to make it happen.

I watch many Youtube videos weekly. I see the home recording studios of musicians who write songs and sell their music as well as the video studios of those who make online lessons. These remind me of the creative settings for offline artists that paint and sculpt. Likewise, there are woodworking shops and machine shops for those that excel in those ways. Considering those settings for people that go deep and wide into their skills helps me to see myself like them as I bring together these online services.

I will be investing a majority of my waking hours immersed in these online tools. So there is no rush to find what might work in the short term if that means I will outgrow it in 3 months and then need to start all over again.

I could go on and on about how I feel that I am 8 months pregnant. The business is living and growing inside me. It will soon become a public reality.

So again I request your best prayers.

Shalom
John