Life is
More Than Things and Money
The way I process internal
matters is by writing and sharing. I do that instead of getting mad at the world
or God. There are times I wish I could cry at depth to release my deepest
hurts. But instead I tend to think my way up and down and around the subject. Then
it does not trouble me.
The recent theft of my backpack from
the library with those things I held most valuable has thrust me into reflecting
on my attitudes and outlooks about possessions. So please bear with me as I process
and share with you.
I admit that I am responsible. The
signs in the library said do not leave your things unattended. I took that risk
many dozen times over the course of 5 months when I went to the bathroom. Then one
time I paid the price for taking that risk. I knew it was risky and that is why
I carried my laptop with me to the bathroom.
When I announced this loss to my
friends and requested prayers I wanted it to be returned to me. That has not
happened yet. It is still possible but not probable. I need to move forward and
deal with the consequences of my actions. That includes grieving the loss and replacing
the things.
This incident led me to recall a
simpler time in my life when I drove back and forth to college in Atlanta from
my hometown of Houston. I could put all my possessions in the trunk and back
seat of my little car. The dorm rooms did not offer much storage.
A while later I asked the question,
“What is there to life besides things and money?” It seemed that the purpose of
going to college was to get a degree then to get a job in order to earn money then
to buy things. The more money a person had the more things they could buy. But I
wondered if that materialism and consumerism the whole story. Is there more to
life? I learned that besides stuff there are ideas, principles and concepts. These
are categorized under the labels of love, beauty, creativity, spirituality,
thinking, science, education, relationships and much more.
When I looked around my life it
seemed that most people had the orientation that getting lots of things. That rat
race to get things was with the silent promise that such ownership will make
them happy. But I knew others that had plenty of things and they did not seem
happy.
Part of my spiritual quest was
rooted in this seeking for an alternative to materialism. That is why I was so
attracted to the New Age cult in the 1970s. I would have remained with them but
I slid into drug abuse. That triggered my mother’s prayers. God answered her
prayers by leading me to a church based drug rehab. That put my spiritual quest
on a Christian path.
Decades after starting my
Christian walk of faith I found myself with an overabundance of books. These were
things that were choking my living space. I worked for 12 years at the help
desk of the student computer lab in a seminary. At the student center they had
a table where people could dump off books they no longer wanted. I took home many
of them with the thought that it might be useful for reference or I may find
time to read it someday. At one point all my bookshelves were full and my kitchen
cabinets too. I had hundreds of books stacked all over the place. It got where
it was a safety hazard to walk from my kitchen to the bathroom. I could trip
and hurt myself. So after prayer God pointed me to a man that was taking up a
collection of books to ship to Africa for libraries. I gave him about 30 boxes
of books. And still I had an abundance left over.
When I became the house manager
of a sober house I moved from a one bedroom apartment full of books to just one
bedroom. I gave away and left behind hundreds of books.
When I left the sober house in
late June my things were put into a Public Storage unit. It is mostly books
with some clothes and office supplies. There is a desktop computer and a
reading chair. The price is 90 dollars a month if it is paid on time. Mostly I have
paid late and with the fee it has been 110 dollars. Then there is the dirty
little secret. The November bill was not paid nor has the December bill been
paid. And there was a fine. My things are scheduled to go up for public auction
if the bill of 277.50 is not paid before December 22.
I have not had contact with those
things for 5 months so I have learned to live without them. I began with just
one green duffle bag that had wheels. During June and July I pulled and carried
it around for many miles and it wore out. I got a brown and black duffle bag
that I use to store my things at the homeless shelter and it is nearly worn
out. And a few days ago I had a black backpack that was stolen.
This is a tale of continually
reducing my possessions over the course of the last 5 years. I am now at the
lowest point. Considering all the things in the storage unit what I pray about
the most and would be impossible to replace are about 30 large mind maps that
are related to ministry and are on scrolls of laminated pages or brown paper. Those
represent thousands of hours of work over the course of many years.
Many times over the years and
especially since I have been homeless God waited until the last minute to meet
my need. That caused my faith in Christ to be stretched and improved.
I continue to grasp on to the
hope that the storage bill will be paid. There is a full closet and dresser of
clothes as well as personal photos I would like to recover.
I had mentioned in previous
messages that I have been working on a paid project to create a crowd funding
site for a client. That project could have taken 3 days but after 3 weeks there
are still delays. He has other work for me that I was counting on to pay this
bill. As the deadline approaches I ask for your special prayers. Or maybe God
will raise up a sponsor for this urgent bill. The best thing I can do after
that bill is paid is to go into the unit. Then I need to give away or throw
away half the contents to reduce my bill by half. This is yet another pruning
of my possessions.
I am writing this message on December
12, 2014. This is the middle of the Christmas shopping season. Honestly Christmas
is my least favorite holiday. I dislike all the hype around shopping and giving
things. The excesses of materialism and consumerism are on display. Our culture
and economy go nearly crazy during December. People get worn out and frustrated
keeping up with all the additional tasks added to their already busy life. I do
not witness much love, joy or peace.
I will grant you that money is
necessary and important. But if the chief purpose of acquiring money is to buy
and consume things then that is not healthy or satisfying. If money and things
were the key to happiness then those who are wealthy would be the happiest
people. All the residents of Hollywood and Palm Springs would be content and
satisfied. Based on the celebrity updates it seems that bliss is not their constant
state of mind. There are real internal needs for spirituality, community service
and personal growth that are not found on the shelves of any store. Walmart,
Amazon and Target cannot giftwrap what is really needed for the interior of a
person.
I need to provide some more context
here. I am 61 years old so that means I was a teen during the 1960s. That crazy
era had many subtle impacts on how I view life and myself today. It was cool to
be anti-establishment in your thinking. One of the mantras of that generation
was Question Authority. The advent of the Love Revolution held out such hope
for a peaceful and caring society. The bad news is that the drug culture
corrupted the innocence and idealism. We Baby Boomers could have caused World
Peace because we had the numbers and spunk. But instead we went down the
slippery slope to become greedy and gluttonous couch potatoes.
As another matter of context I am
single and I have never been married. I have never had children to buy presents
for during the holidays. Yet as an outsider to that dynamic I wonder if parents
attempt to sooth their guilt by giving lots of gifts. There is a saying the
love is spelled t-i-m-e. What each child wants is quality time with each
parent. I know that is easy to say and hard to do. There are lots of websites
and books with proven and practical recommendations.
At some level my ongoing
challenge is to reconcile the ideals presented in the Bible with the practical
needs to pay bills and the real hurts of those around me. I have come to
understand that inside of me reside an idealist, a pragmatist and a realist. Each
one has a loud voice and a different worldview. My ongoing challenge is to
honor all sides, referee disputes and seek to find workable collaborations. As I
can do that them my life takes on better dynamic balance and I have more value
to offer as I serve others.
I request your earnest prayers
for the following matters.
May the Public Storage bill be
paid before December 22.
May I get in there and prune it
to half before the first of the year in order to reduce my bill.
May most of the valuable items
that were in my stolen backpack be replaced.
May God continue to teach me valuable
lessons about materialism, possessions and stewardship.
