Please Pray for Provisions and Productivity

I admit I am powerless again over how I will pay for my stay at the homeless shelter tonight. God has brought me to this place of trusting Him for my immediate provisions several times in recent weeks. Each time He provided my need right on time. I hope and expect that He will again. But that provision always happened after I had requested prayers and that is what I am doing now.

Please pray for God to guide and provide.

May the Lord guide my thoughts, words and deeds.

The need is 10 dollars per night at the homeless shelter. Mostly God has provided that 3 nights at a time. So with fees it would be 35 dollars. The gate closes at 800 PM and so to have margin I need that before 700 PM. I could make it one more night for just 12 dollars.

Also I learned what the bill is on my things in storage. There is a past due amount of 33 dollars and 97 dollars is due before August first. A friend has paid the 33 dollars and I need to repay that soon.

My bare minimum need is 10 dollars a day. I can also use money for bottled water, fruit drinks, bus fare and laundry. God has provided those needs before. May I have faith and take actions to raise that money too.

The reason I am in this jam is that it has taken far longer to get the crowd funding platform online. At first I thought that would be active within the first week of my homeless season but that was more than a month ago. There have been lots of obstacles that included relational, logistical, technical, mental and emotional.

The Holy Spirit has prompted me to consider the possible spiritual warfare parts of these challenging weeks. I ask you to pray for God to grant me His wisdom and insights about these matters. I do not want to either neglect this might have been a factor nor go into imbalance and put all blame of my discomforts on the works of the devils. What I seek is discernment. I want to know what I can repent of, pray and request prayers for related to these matters.

From where I sit at this moment there is no logical reason I could not create a few more short videos this afternoon. I could make some more tomorrow and finally launch the crowd funding site shortly after that. I cannot set a hard deadline just now but I hope that will possible soon. When that online service is active then I know ways to promote it. That will lead to funds from strangers that want to partner with me in launching the innovative educational nonprofit. Then my modest living costs will be met. I will continue to add more materials to the crowd funding site and enroll more supporters.

The title of this message is Please Pray for Provisions and Productivity. I both need money to meet the immediate needs and I need to become far more productive. That will lead to increased income streams. I am reminded of the three words that you can pray about that will help me the most.

FOCUS

I always need to learn to focus better.

I have lots of online tools to aid.

I spend time with them.

Maybe I spend too much time planning some times.

But when I neglect those I get very scattered and waste many hours.

DISCIPLINE

I like to plan and organize plus I do that very well.

But I do not have self discipline to follow through on my plans.

That is a different kind of skill that I must learn to develop with steady practice.

There are times I wish I was more like a robot that I could just program.

But I have human nature that needs to be disciplined.

I am seeking for one or more accountability partners to help me.

I need to set reasonable yet challenging goals for each day and week.

Then I need to declare those to my partner and give updates.

This is one proven way to gain more traction.

Others have used this system before and I am willing to use it.

But I need God to connect me with the right person or people.

Please pray for this connection.

PRODUCTIVITY

Get the job done is a motto that I say to myself.

There are always far too many possible tasks every day.

There will be things left not completed.

I need to learn to execute on those tasks that will bring the best results.

When I get into the creativity zone then this unfolds gracefully and quickly.

I can get an amazing amount accomplished in a few hours when in that flow.

I have come to associate that with abiding in the True Vine Jesus Christ to bear good fruit.

FIRE

There are two related issues happening here. On the one hand I need to put out the fire of paying for a place to sleep tonight. That is the immediate and urgent need. On the other hand I need to take wise action steps to prevent needing to put out this kind of fire again in the near future.

I need God to connect me with generous donors again and grant me favor in their site. I promise you I dislike going through this over and over again.

Then I need to greatly improve the focus, discipline and productivity. As that happens then it will lead to funds from strangers that will move me to a more stable financial base.

MUST
There is a spiritual part of this that I sometimes get a glimpse of and it boils down to I must to STAND UP ON THE INSIDE. Then I must JUST BOLDLY DECLARE WHAT GOD HAS BEEN SPEAKING TO MY HEART FOR MANY YEARS. Then I must just let the people respond. Some will like it and others will not. So I need to be OK with what gets back to my fear of rejection. I must LET GOD USE ME TO CAST THE VISION AND THEN WATCH HIM PROVIDE THE SUPPORT TO BRING IT TO PASS.

Normally I do not include the Pay Pal link in the request for prayers but the time is short. So if God is prompting you to give then the link follows. Note that the goal for today is 35 dollars. The minimum to make it to tomorrow is 12 dollars. http://www.freewebs.com/jsohub/give.htm

Again the central prayer request is for God to guide and provide both short term and long term.

Shalom  

Pray for URGENT Need of 25 Dollars

I went to the homeless shelter for dinner that is served at 500 PM.

At the main door there are security people to inspect bags.

I had taken my laptop in and out of there for about 12 days.

I have been taking it to and from the community college daily.

I use the WIFI in the dining commons of the college.

But this time the head of security noticed I had a laptop.

I was told that I need to pay 25 dollars a month to bring it in the building.

That charge is for the use of electricity.

I cannot bring it in there tonight unless I pay.

I do not know anyone that lives or works near downtown to store it.

My Pay Pal account has 7 dollars right now.

I have zero cash.

I have paid up for tonight and tomorrow night at 10 dollars a night.

I need to get back there before 800 PM that is when they close the gate.

That is an hour and a half from now.

I did not expect this urgent need.

Also pray for God to provide the money to stay more nights.

Generally the provision has been coming for 3 nights at a time.

The IMMEDIATE need is 25 dollars.

My 7 dollars can cover the fees.

The need for 3 more nights would be 35 dollars with fees.

If you can help with all or part of this then use this link.

http://www.freewebs.com/jsohub/give.htm

Pray for God to guide me in what to do and who to contact.

Pray for this need to be met on time.

THANKS

Like Induced Labor

Recently I have been walking with my head held down.

I have been looking at my feet and the pavement just in front of me.

That is not a common way for me to walk.

But it is an indication to me that there are some deeply troubling issues inside.

I feel stuck between the proverbial rock and hard place.

I have been using my waking hours to prepare short videos.

The intention of these is to associate them to a crowd funding site.

Then there will be more than enough money for me and the startup ministry.

That is a lovely plan that has been taking much longer than expected.

There are lots of reasons and I will give an overview here for your prayers.

NOISE

Late yesterday I was going to bite the bullet and shoot a few more short videos.

They would not be excellent but they would get me back in to motion from this stall.

However the place where I shot the other videos was full of far too many noises.

This was the dining commons of the community college.

Pray for that place to be quiet when I need to shoot and for me to find alternative locations.

INSPIRE

I keep watching short videos online that inspire and encourage me.

I saw 2 yesterday that hit a homerun out of the park in less than 7 minutes.

They addressed a huge audience of strangers on stage.

They told their story with a few photos to illustrate and asked for support in a gentle way.

What I know rationally is that it was not the first time they made that pitch.

There had been lots of previous versions that were far less appealing.

What I saw was the polished version that had been pruned and tweaked many times.

I was like a high school kid watching a professional basketball player making a slam dunk.

I want to do that too and hopefully someday I will.

But my skills are what they are today and will not get better unless I get out there and practice.

Here are some videos that inspire me.

http://unreasonable.is/video/2014-talks/community-water-services/

http://unreasonable.is/video/transformation-textiles/

http://unreasonable.is/video/2014-talks/greenlink/

PROCESS

Today I find myself writing another long word processing document.

Partly I need to do this because it helps me process my internal junk.

It allows me to share parts of my life for others to pray over.

It creates a text archive of my spiritual pilgrimage that might be useful later.

But it does not directly get me closer to the money I need.

It takes time and energy to create and share.

It easily flows out of me contrasted to the struggle with the short videos that seem stuck.

I know that some supporters think these are far too long and I appreciate that.

I promise they are as short and focused as I can make them.

Frankly I would rather not share as openly and honestly.

In my flesh I would rather stay hidden and invisible.

But I have learned the hard way over the years that becoming vulnerable leads to progress.

TITLE

The title of this message is Like Induced Labor.

There can come times when a pregnant woman needs to be induced to give birth.

That is what I feel like today.

I feel like I need to induce labor to get the ministry birthed.

The ministry has been inside my mind and heart for many years.

I have attempted to launch it many times in the past.

I have tried longer and harder this time than ever before.

But it stays stuck and that is discouraging.

When the crowd funding presentation is live on Indiegogo it will have been birthed.

I know lots of ways to promote it to strangers because I studied Internet marketing for years.

My costs of living are small and the costs to initially grow the ministry are small.

Logically my life will be much better after I just get over this matter.

FEARS

Pray for me to focus on the hope and expectation of the positive future.

Pray for me to overcome my fears that have been holding me back.

One of my biggest fears is the fear of success.

I fear that if this gets going and growing then I will be overwhelmed.

Another fear of mine related to this is the fear of responsibility.

When it grows and matures then I will have many more responsibilities.

I might not be able to deal with all of my responsibilities well.

That means I will disappoint and even hurt some people.

So my little fearful self avoids all those possible catastrophes by staying stuck.

That is a seemingly safe but ultimately stupid way of coping with difficulties.

The only way out is through and that means feeling the feelings while taking action step.

Courage is a virtue that comes from facing fears then doing the right things.

FAITH

My personal theology informs me that victory over any fear is faith in Christ.

The fact is that my life will radically change after the ministry is birthed.

The ministry will go through stages of develop like any nonprofit.

Those stages have been documented due to patterns observed repeatedly.

There are books, websites and experts to help at every stage.

I know how to seek and find such resources.

I know how to follow instructions.

But at the end of the day it will be the grace and mercies of God that will make the difference.

I will be challenged in ways I could not begin to imagine today.

But I can know for sure that the Word of God will never change.

His precious promises will always be yes and amen.

Also Jesus Christ will never change.

His names and nature will be just the same as today.

My fellowship with Him daily will change because my circumstances will have changed.

Somehow I needed to write this much today.

I have almost preached myself out of my hole of despair.

GURUS

As you likely know I enjoy sharing resources.

I have found an abundance of online experts in a wide range of fields.

I have been sharing links to their best content for many years.

So when it gets to my problems I know where to turn for great inputs.

I have been reviewing those sources and God has been sending me more.

The good news is that there is no shortage of inputs from these gurus.

The bad news is that there are so many of them.

Most of them are small business or church planting related.

I need to adapt that to my intention to launch an innovative educational nonprofit.

That is not too difficult nor is it super easy.

MIDWIVES

Here is an image that occurs to me.

I feel like a pregnant woman in a trailer in the woods.

I am ten months pregnant and so overdue.

I have lots of books, videos and websites to understand the theory.

But there are complications and this part of the journey has been lonely.

I do not personally know anyone that has launched a nonprofit.

I do not have the money today to hire a consultant.

But it is my hope that God will send money to hire consultants and life coaches.

I have emailed and called a few friends to come along side me at this time.

So far the response has been silence.

I would like to meet with them in person or on the phone or Skype.

Pray for God to connect me with the right people to help midwife this birthing.

LOGICAL

It seems logical that this part of my life would be easy and simple.

My current challenge is to briefly express my passions behind the vison for ministry.

I have done this many times over the years in personal conversations.

These are the matters that I feel most deeply.

What I have learned is that there are many tiny parts.

It is not just one big thing.

I have been organizing these in to groups.

I hope those will go online as short videos very soon.

Those are essentially the background or personal back story that motivates me.

Then there is the long term big picture that I have shared before many times.

I do not yet understand why I have been so emotionally blocked in getting these out.

So I suspect that there might be some spiritual warfare happening.

Pray for wisdom and insights about what it will take to publish the next set of videos.

AMBITIONS

A small but important part of my dilemma relates to ambitions.

Before I was reborn at 23 years old I sought to get very rich.

I wanted to retire early then party until I died.

That was a normal pagan dream.

My ambitions revolved around making lots of money then enjoying pleasures.

It seems that most Christians have very few ambitions.

There are biographies of those heavily involved in missions that had big ambitions.

I do not brag but I state a fact that God has blessed me with many talents.

I seek to use those natural talents and my spiritual gifts for His glory.

In the world of business it is easy to measure success financially.

But how does one measure success in the kingdom of God?

This relates to my reluctance to get outside my comfort zones.

UPDATE

•       Thankfully the cold sores in my mouth are greatly decreasing.

•       I will be sleeping at the homeless shelter for the next few nights due to the generosity of a supporter and the great grace of God.

•       Pray for funds for more nights there.

•       Pray for me to soon publish more short videos online.

PRAYERS

God I admit that I wish my life unfolded much faster. I confess impatience. That just reminds me of how extremely patient You are with me and others. Thank You again for Your wonderful patience You have shown toward me over the years.

God I admit I wish life was much easier. I confess I can be lazy. I do not like doing unpleasant things and I tend to avoid them. God gently guide me to suitably embrace the challenges You have put along my path. Please guide me from making my life overly complicated and difficult by taking on more than You know is best for me.

God this crazy world is seriously messed up. The news reports can be depressing and distressing. I am glad You understand all the issues in the Middle East because that is far beyond my mental capacity. I choose to leave all the details up to You. May I find Your way for me to make a useful and lasting contributions to this passing world during my remaining days.

Shalom 

Got Shelter and Got Passions.

Thankfully God made a way for the provision of shelter tonight at the homeless shelter.

And there is enough for a few more nights.

Pray for the other source of funds to start early next week.

I have been thinking and writing about my passions all day.

This subject is more complex than I expected.

I have many passions and they are related to each other.

I have been sorting them so I can share them in brief and simple ways.

I am appreciating more why this is core to effective fund raising.

When a person gets what I am passionate about then they will want to hear more.

Most of my planning has dealt with the logistics and marketing.

But it is the passion that fuels me and will fuel the ministry.

The better I can articulate this then the more people will become supporters.

I have been dumping key ideas on a mind map and there juggling those around.

Then as the ideas come into some order I put chunks on Power Point slide shows.

Those slide shows will become the loose outline for my webcam videos.

Please pray for God to guide me in this process of articulating my passions.

According to the video this morning that is core to long term fund raising success.

Shalom 

Where Do I Sleep Tonight Jesus?

For years I have told others that I have been following Jesus by faith daily.

That was my reality and has become more dramatic during recent weeks.

By the grace of God I have had a place to sleep each night for the last month.

Where I stayed was revealed as my life unfolded.

I have stayed for as long as 10 nights at missionary housing.

At this minute, as I write this, I do not have the funds for housing tonight.

I hope that by enrolling prayers God will guide me in right actions today.

I want to stay at the homeless shelter for a few more nights.

I need to check in a pay 10 dollars per night by 800 PM tonight.

Hopefully I will arrive and pay before that deadline.

Last night three short videos were finally published online.

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLnFmcTJDzAgbLZ5AyXjG33OjVIWueQ2A3

I had expected to have those and others online 3 weeks ago.

There had been logistical, technical and emotional obstacles.

I call that playlist of 3 videos Broke the Ice with These.

On my mind maps I have prioritized lists of a few dozen more videos I plan to publish online.

It will take hours to tell the whole story effectively.

That put me back to one of my ongoing challenges.

How can I keep it simple?

What needs to be told in the first place.

Then providentially I came on an email in my inbox this morning.

I had subscribed to their updates years ago.

I had forgotten about this organization.

The bottom line is they help people like me start businesses and nonprofits.

They have recently put online lots of short videos to give general guidance.

Those instructions are exactly what I need today.

In essence they have found what works is to lead with an expression of your passion.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKcgjMYAuV0

Then they give guidelines for how to enroll support based on that.

So that is my homework for today.

That is what will be used on the crowd funding platform.

They even teach how to leverage that funding option.

Meanwhile I ask for your prayers.

May God guide my thoughts, words and deeds.

I need to both raise money for tonight and to

Based on the fund raising goal of 173 dollars I set before 83 dollars remain.

That would pay for 3 more nights at the shelter.

I can pay for the storage of my things and have a little margin.

May the Lord connect me with generous donors and give me favor with them.

Shalom

Pray for First Videos on Friday July 18

I spent many hours today getting more organized and ready to shoot and publish videos.

I could continue in preparing and planning for many more months.

But I must turn the corner and start somewhere.

God led me to another short video by an online teacher I respect.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEsJsH6Jz-o

Evidently lots of people get stuck at this same place.

Perfectionism leads to procrastination unto endless delays.

Well it is my intention to put a few short videos online tomorrow July 18.

They will not be nearly as great as my internal standards.

But it will break the ice and lead to improvements.

I ask for your best prayers.

While I enjoy writing these long messages it is time for me to change gears.

I have made a few dozen short videos over the years.

Some were guided by an outline on a Power Point slide show.

Some were just me talking to my web cam.

I have done the technical parts before.

One reason I have delayed is that there are so many videos I plan to make.

I have organized them into five kinds.

That is based mostly on a fund raising workshop I took many years ago.

One key lesson was that those who give money to nonprofits use four lenses.

They perceive those they support in one or more of these ways.

Understanding this helps to best communicate with supporters.

Those four ways are as follows:

Family, friend, minister and investment

Family means that the missionary is like an extended family member serving far away.

The updates are generally about external matters like lifestyle and experiences.

Friend deals more with internal challenges including spiritual warfare.

Minister means that that person has blessed me and my contacts so will benefit others there too.

Investment means that this is a long term project like a church plant or orphanage.

Each of these channels is important and they appeal to different audiences.

Thankfully online I can create a way to enroll and serve each group.

Also in my case I find that there is a fifth channel.

This one is essentially my autobiography.

The reasons, motives, inspirations, passions, purposes of the ministry are rooted in my life story.

The vision and game plan did not suddenly occur to me one afternoon.

There are lots of incidents, events and relationships that shaped me and my works.

Personally I greatly enjoy video biographies online.

I am amazed to understand how what I person did was the fruit of what happened to them.

Not everyone cares about that kind of detail.

Also during the coming months and years I will be asking strangers to trust me.

I will be asking them to pray for me, volunteer their time and give money generously.

For some of those they will want to understand my background.

I will have that online.

It will be offered in audio, video and text chunks.

I will be going on road trips in the coming months.

Along the way I will make contacts with all sorts of people.

I will seek to start and grow a relationship with the supporters.

I will use a selection of short videos, email subscriptions and other methods.

There will be volunteers and paid staff that create educational modules.

Those will be made ready and translated into various languages for the poorest people.

We will find ways to beta test the creation and distribution systems.

I will be used by God to provide innovative and creative solutions to perplexing problems.

There will be amazing results as we collaboratively combine our talents.

There will be journalists of all kinds that will need to report about me.

I will offer them links to these five channels.

OTHER

Here are some updates from other parts of my life besides making videos.

This morning I enjoyed a refreshing conversation with a friend out of state.

He is a pastor and one of the few men I trust to come into my heart of hearts.

Over the years I have been bountifully bless by God when we talked.

Again last night I was part of a wonderful prayer meeting at the homeless shelter.

The third floor is for men and at 830 PM there is a prayer call.

7 to 12 men gather in the hallway.

We share praise reports and prayer requests.

It is great to pray with men that have such genuine faith in Christ.

The building will hold about 500 people and it is mostly full.

On the second floor are women, children and families.

The first floor has administration, chapel and dining hall.

The 10 dollars a day includes 3 meals.

Think of plate lunches at public schools only larger portions.

Breakfast is served from 5 to 6 AM.

Lunch is 1130 to 1230 and dinner 430 to 530 PM.

My body is not used to those timings.

I never have been a big eater.

I have eaten too much one time and skipped some meals.

The building is a converted warehouse.

There are far more than 100 men in the huge room where I sleep.

My bed is near the main entrance to the floor.

There is often a game of Spades or Dominos happening very near my bed.

Typically I get to bed at about 8 PM and attempt to sleep amidst the noise.

Lights go out at 1030 and come on at 500.

My sleep has been much better than the first night.

My sinuses are only mildly irritated.

I have knots in my calves that I do not recall having before.

When I twist an odd way they hurt until I untwist.

I take some tablets from CVS that help ease the leg cramps.

And I stretch my legs a few times a day.

This morning the Lord inspired me with another kind of support I could use.

Besides cash over Pay Pal I can also use gift cards.

The three stores that are could benefit me most these days are as follows:

Subway, CVS and Whole Foods

Maybe there is a way for a person to sponsor 20 to 50 dollars on those and email it to me.

Or I can receive mail at the homeless shelter.

UPDATE

•       Today I turned a corner.

•       I decided I have done enough planning and preparing.

•       I have declared I will shoot and publish a few videos tomorrow July 18.

•       That will put an end to my procrastination and perfectionism.

•       Pray for that to get done.

PRAYER

God I thank You that You are totally perfect. There is no possible way for You to improve. You put in us a deep desire to become like You. But that will always be impossible while we live in these earthly bodies. Help me and us to both aim for excellence while accepting our imperfections.

God I cannot ever be justified by any good works I do. My acceptance by You is due to the finished work of Jesus Christ on the Cross. Yet You put in me a desire to do good works to shed Your truth and love with others. Help me to be zealous for good works in ways that please You.

God You have provided 24 hours in each day. May I be led by my Good Shepherd in how to most wisely use my time each day, week and month. May there be balance, harmony, rest, productivity and enjoyment.

Shalom

Good Bye Procrastination and Perfectionism

Lord willing I will pay for three more nights at the homeless shelter this evening.

My stay there has not been pleasant but it is acceptable.

On a scale of 1 to 10 here is how I would rate the following:

3 homeless shelter

4 rooming and boarding house where I had lived many years ago

5 sober house

6 motel

9 missionary housing

10 my own apartment without a roommate

Right now I accept that this is just a temporary arrangement.

I can continue to endure this for a while.

My top priority is not to maximize my comfort or convenience.

I need to stay focused on launching the ministry.

That will happen as I get the crowd funding platform online.

Even when that is operating I will be getting ready for road trips.

So this is a season to remain flexible and fluid.

Then after the road trips I will choose a headquarters for the educational nonprofit.

That is when I will be ready and willing to settle down again.

What most people do not know is that I have been living this kind of way for decades.

During the 1980s and 1990s there was much uncertainty in my life.

My housing situation changed lots of times.

That was before email and I needed to mail out updates with prayer requests.

God made a way for me to survive those years.

God will continue to take care of me in the coming years.

I am grateful for your prayers.

God is answering your prayers in amazing ways.

My sinus troubles are not nearly as bad as they had been when at the shelter.

Pray for me to find a workable rhythm for these days.

Generally I do my best work late at night and then wake up late.

But I cannot work on my laptop at the homeless shelter.

I leave there before 8 AM and come to this community college.

I can work here about one or two hours.

Then I get physically stiff or mentally dry.

I get up and walk around downtown a while.

I need to regulate my food intake more carefully.

I have both eaten too much and too little.

That has thrown off my energy level.

I have a general idea of the kinds of videos I will be making soon.

They fall into five new channels that I will describe next time.

Each channel has a different kind of content and special audience.

All of these pave the way for doing the road trips and enroll the most support.

I have been spending much time on two mind maps sorting out these matters.

I had fully expected to have a few videos online before now.

I have been wondering why that has not happened.

Then in the providence of God I came on the following message.

It says that many people get stuck due to a blend of perfectionism and procrastination.

Basically I already know the first videos are going to be less than excellent.

So I keep finding ways to delay making them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcvXcZd5TSQ

That is understandable at some level.

But it must stop.

I need to go ahead and put online some videos very soon.

Then I can make improvements.

Please pray earnestly that I get the victory over procrastination and perfectionism.

Early this morning I was blessed by the Lord.

As I was getting up the Holy Spirit reminded me of my deepest passions.

I had lost touch with fire in my belly that got this ministry going years ago.

For a long time I lay in bed and saw images in my mind’s eye.

I felt what it would be like for this ministry to impact poor people globally.

Please pray for God to inspire and encourage me like that often.

UPDATE

•       I plan to stay at the homeless shelter the next 3 nights and maybe more.

•       Pray for the quality and restfulness of my sleep.

•       Pray for me to get over my procrastination and perfectionism so I will publish videos online soon.

PRAYER

God You made the human body with a need for sleep. That need is obvious. But You can bless the quality of rest during the night of sleep. You can cause refreshment of the mind and body. I ask You do to that for me during these difficult days.

God You made the human body with a need for food. That need is obvious. But Lord sometimes I eat too much or too fast due to my emotional struggles. And sometimes I neglect getting enough to eat. Jesus guide me in what to eat, when to eat it and may I enjoy the eating. Lord bless my digestion and elimination so that I do not have gas or constipation like I have had during times of major transitions.

God You made the human body, mind and emotions with the need for rest and fun. That need is not always obvious to me Lord. I admit I tend to work constantly except when I sleep. Gradually and gracefully Jesus Christ lead me to have a more balanced and emotionally whole life.

Shalom