Canceled, Delayed and New Hope

Canceled, Delayed and New Hope



CANCELED

During the last update, I mentioned the plan to go on a road trip to Arizona. I was going there with Scott and his brother to sell an RV. While doing the repairs to make the RV ready for such a long trip a buddy of Scott made an offer on it. So the trip was canceled.

I was informed of the cancelation about 13 hours before I expected to be picked up. So I experienced a wide range of feelings for the next hour.

I had looked forward to the adventure. I wanted to see the various landscapes and cities from here to there.

Note that without a car I rarely leave my apartment complex except to attend church and go grocery shopping. All my other shopping is done online.

As a recovering workaholic, I am very aware that I have not taken a real vacation in decades.


DELAYED
I talked with my brother Jim in St Louis about the generous offer by a couple to sponsor my trip to come to visit him. I have not seen him is more than 20 years.

I learned that he will be busy with a work project until December 30 and then he has an intense training out of town from January 4 to 13. After that, he will need to rest and apply what he learned. So my visit to see Jim is delayed until February. The sponsoring couple is understanding and accepts this.

I had mentioned that I planned to work with Scott and his brother to pass out flyers at Urbana in St Louis at the end of December. But I learned today that also is canceled.

NEW HOPE
During the 40 plus years of following Jesus Christ by faith one day at a time, I have learned the hard way to always remain flexible.

The Holy Spirit reminded me of Proverbs19:21 Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.

My plan had been to go on a road trip to Arizona and report back to you today with a summary of those experiences plus pictures.

My plan had been to visit my brother and work with Scott at Urbana at the end of this month.

My plan had been to talk at length with Scott about the possible sales opportunity and get the needed training during the road trip so that I could start this month.

My plan had been to earn additional income from all 3 of those activities.

Then after reflection, I noticed a small but important development that has the potential to have a long-lasting impact on my personal life and online ministry. This is why I used the term New Hope in the subject line,

It is possible that this tiny unit of research will be used by God to place me in a community of like-minded Christians and under the guidance of a mature Christian couple. Both of them are certified spiritual directors.

Scott mentioned that one of the Christian ministries that his sales have benefited is named Unhurried Living https://unhurriedliving.com/ So I went to that website to conduct research.

I read their blog post and heard some podcasts here https://unhurriedliving.com/blog/

I enrolled and took their free online courses here https://learn.unhurriedliving.com/

I found out that they are starting a special program in January named an Unhurried Collective https://unhurriedliving.com/collective/  

Here are quotes from that webpage:

An Unhurried Collective is a transformative process that is an intensive combination of rejuvenating retreats, individual and group mentoring, and a vibrant virtual community that’s available whenever you are. This learning collective of Christian leaders and influencers will connect with God and one another in six retreats over two years.

Rediscover the genius of Jesus’ unhurried way of life and leadership.
Built on nearly 30 years of experience at the intersection of spiritual formation and leadership development, Unhurried Living seeks to inspire Christian leaders around the world to rest deeper so they can live fuller and lead better.

HERE’S HOW IT WORKS
You’ll receive…
On-retreat mentoring and training from Alan & Gem Fadling & faculty.
Retreat presentations are rooted in the ideas of An Unhurried Life, An Unhurried Leader and the forthcoming Eight Paths to Transformation (IVP 2019).
Lodging and food at Prince of Peace Abbey, in Oceanside, CA, for all six retreats.
Private Facebook Group with Alan, Gem & faculty, for strategic and transformative guidance in leadership and spiritual practices.
Virtual co-mentoring & community gatherings between retreats where you’ll deepen friendships with other leaders in your Collective.
A Certificate in Unhurried Leadership.

Dates:
February 4-7, 2019
June 17-20, 2019
October 7-10, 2019
January 27-30, 2020
June 8-11, 2020
October 5-8, 2020


TOGETHER, WE’LL LEARN TO:
Manage time from the foundation of our truest priorities.
Practice soul-filling experiences with God that fit who we are.
Lead from the central foundation of our engagement with God.
Look honestly at the distractions in our lives and make discerning decisions.
Engage interactions and gatherings in ways that bring about transformation.
Become more present in a busy, fast-moving world.
Discern what true soul care looks like for ourselves and for those we lead.


Here is more about the leaders, Alan and Gem Fadling.
https://unhurriedliving.com/our-team/  



PRAYER
So the good that comes out of the bumpy path recently could be that God is guiding me to participate in this cohort of people like me.

Note that my neighbors are mostly in their 70s and 80s. The church I attend is mostly young families with all the complex challenges that come with raising small children while dealing with career issues.

Today I do not know anyone on a first name basis like me that thinks day and night about finding their ministry niche in this ever-changing society. I do not have accountability partners to be with me during the planning and implementation processes of launching an online ministry next year. I have never had a spiritual director yet needed it during many seasons like this one.

Thankfully all my basic financial needs are met thanks to my retirement income, section 8 housing subsidy, and food stamps.

I have plenty of time and energy to do anything or nothing. I have made lots of ambitious plans during the last year and a half but none became an online reality for the public.

The blueprint that starts January 2019 is to publish online sets of short videos with PDF worksheets about prayer. These will be used to get customer feedback and lead to both online ecourse and online community.

As I have prayerfully considered this option I feel that God is prompting me to join them.

If the program was free and they met across the street then I would not need to trust God to provide the money. I would not need to request many prayers for God to guide and provide.

If I had been paid for the Arizona trip or the St Louis help then I could easily afford the 50 dollar registration fee.

If I had learned how to complete the online sales with Scott then I would not be totally dependent on God to raise up supporter to provide the initial 900 dollar payment that is due on January 5 and the 225 dollar Retreat & Training Fee (beginning February 1, 2019; paid monthly over 20 months; includes room and board for all six retreats).

So what I can do today is share this update with you and requests your best prayers both now and later.

I can write the initial draft of the application https://unhurriedliving.com/collective-application/  

I can persevere in prayer about these matters. I can hope that the application fee with be provided, I will be accepted, the 900 dollars will arrive in time as well as the other monthly funds.

What I have been telling my self for months during this grief work is that after this season of inner healing the next season is about outward expressions. I have an abundance of outlines and notes related to teaching prayer online. I believe God has been preparing me for this kind of work for many years. I will draw on my personal experiences of answered prayers and having been a member of local churches in a wide range of denominations. As I move in that direction then I will benefit many people and thanks to the answers to their prayers I will have more than enough income to grow the ministry.

CONCLUSION

So today I will begin to draft my responses to the questions on the application.

As I do this I have faith that God will provide the needed 50 dollar application fee.

I request your best prayers now and later that my application will be accepted.

Pray for the funds to be raised both initially and monthly. Those goals are 900 dollars by January 5 and 225 dollars by the first of each month for 2 years. Plus there will be transportation costs to get to and from  San Diego California 6 times.

This is the opportunity that God has placed before me. It is my plan to do what I can make this a reality. This seems to align with other factors in my spiritual journey. Yet this is just my plan. Ultimately apart from Christ it will not happen.

During the coming days, I want God to confirm this new direction or correct me. I do not care. I let go of my preference that this happen.

Each day when I pray I say, Thy Kingdom come and Thy will be done. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I have been redeemed by the blood of the Lamb. I am not my own. I am here to trust and obey the guidance of my Good Shepherd.

I am reminded that twice god made a way for funds to arrive right on time for my first and second set of dentures a few years later. They are working great. And without the gifts from those generous supporters, I would still have a mouth full of rotten teeth and could not enjoy holiday foods.

Sorry that this message is so long. But this could be a major turning point in my life.

THANKS again for each of your prayers.

Shalom

John

Brother, Manager, and Road Trip

Brother, Manager, and Road Trip

BROTHER

My brother Jim is 3 years younger and lives in St Louis. Also his son Trevor, my nephew lives there.

I talk with my brother for 1 to 2 hours every few weeks.

We are super close.

I have not seen my brother or nephew in about 20 years.

A dear couple from church has offered to sponsor me to go visit him. I was shocked and delighted at that news. I told my brother and we are working out dates.

Plus there is another related development that I will share at the end of this message.

Please pray for this journey and for me to have lots of quality times with my brother and nephew.

MANAGER

Yesterday Darlene started her new job as an assistant manager. She will be living closer to her youngest daughter who expects her first child in February. Please pray for her transition and relationship with her daughter and grandchild.

Pray for God to guide and provide in the process to find a manager for this apartment complex for senior citizens.

ROAD TRIP

Today I was invited to go on a road trip. I met Scott on the daily Workaholics Anonymous conference call. He invited me to help him by driving a vehicle from here to Arizona. He will pay me and fly me back here. That is a very appealing adventure.

He and his brother sell donated real estate and airplanes online to benefit a Christian nonprofit named Unhurried Living https://unhurriedliving.com/ . Here is their related podcast that I just found https://unhurriedliving.com/?s=podcast

He will teach me how he does this and offered me a job to do this part-time. I will investigate this option. Pray for my guidance and discernment.

Also Scott invited me to work with him to pass out literature at Urbana student missions Conference https://urbana.org/ in St Louis this year Decembe27 to 31.

WOW

And I was expecting a very quiet rest of the year.

Please pray for me now and later.

God is answering many prayers in my life these days.

THANKS again for all your prayers.

Shalom

John

Dear Sister in Christ --- whistle on keychain

Dear Sister in Christ

I offer to you this metal whistle as an expression of my unconditional love and genuine concern for you.

I hope that you find it to be valuable.

It is my intention that you feel safer and more secure. I want you to have this handy just in case you ever need it.

I have kept one like this on my keychain for many years. I did that because I had a neighbor who had been a Golden Gloves boxer for 9 years. That means he took hundreds of hits to his head. He was no longer boxing but he got violent when he got off his psyche medicine. He attached his wife attempting to kill her 3 times. He was usually friendly toward me yet rarely hostile to me in his attitude.

I moved away from that residence more than 4 years ago but I continue to carry it just in case I ever need it for any reason.

Besides as a self-defense tool, it can be handy to keep in touch with others when hiking or camping.

You will probably never use this. But you might feel better because it is handy.

I gave one to you and many other women this Christmas season. I bought 10 of them for just $6.99 on Amazon. Just maybe you will feel motivated to give them to the women and girls in your life.

Woodcovo 10 Pack Aluminum Whistle EDC Sport Emergency Survival Whistles with Key Chain  https://www.amazon.com/Woodcovo-Aluminum-Emergency-Survival-Whistles/dp/B075279L8S/  

The sad reality is that we live in a society where the safety and security of females is a serious consideration. I cannot do much to change society. But I can give a small gift to my sisters in Christ so that may serve as a barrier to such spiritual darkness.

May this whistle bless you emotionally, mentally, and if necessary physically.

Shalom
John S. Oliver

God is doing great things in me for His glory

God continues to guide and provide.

My focus during the rest of the year is to continue my griefwork based on the Griefsahre workbook. 

I am on day 8 of a 40-day prayer challenge from the book Draw the  Circle by Mark Batterson. And after many years of praying for my prayer life to improve it finally is in big ways. 

I am doing much journaling based on Workaholics anon workbook and that is flushing out junk unto healing old hurts.

Also, God gives me inspirations about several educational projects to start in January 2019.

About a third of the time my sleep is disturbed. I wake suddenly due to crazy events in my dreams. I think this is linked to all the deep healing during the day. 

To help support all this intense internal work I take care to get exercise regularly, drink plenty of water, and eat well. I stop as needed to pray and meditate when prompted. I make time to enjoy online movies to have a balanced lifestyle. 

Before this season on inner work began times of depression were common and sometimes there was despair. My hope about the future was weak. My prayer life as shallow. Currently, all those negative symptoms are absent. 

I know that most Christians do not go into such internal practices. But I learned the hard way over these 40 years as a believer that this is what helps me long term.  

There were long periods of church history when such focus on progressive personal sanctification was a normal part of the life of committed Christians.

God has me in this semi-hermit condition in order to both clean out the inside of my vessel and to provide me with lots of solitude for the creation of educational modules. 

What I instinctively pray from deep inside it Thy Kingdom come and Thy will be done. 

What is being distilled these weeks is that my greatest desire is to continually PRAY BETTER. As that happens then ALL else will follow. 

Like everyone else, I must juggle my needs and wants. I must address the internal and external distractions. I must tilt toward the important while away from the urgent.

Like everyone else, I wish I had more time. There are more appealing options in any day or week than I can start and finish. 

Like everyone else, I would like to have more money. Yet how well am in using and being thankful for what God has already provided. 

Kindly pray for me now and later.

THANKS again for your prayers.

Shalom

John

Griefwork, Holidays, and Hopes

 Griefwork, Holidays, and Hopes

Griefwork

There are only 2 more sessions in the 13-week program of Griefshare https://www.griefshare.org/

I am grateful for how God has used that program to heal my soul in deep ways.

The videos, discussions, and workbook have been used by God to bring light to the darkest places inside me.

There have been more times when my body shook with emotions. There were nights when I was going to sleep and tears just poured out of my eyes without thoughts or feelings.



What has been most helpful has been to write in my journal. I have gone to write in an agitated state. Then a jumble of words to express feelings, memories, hurts, fears, resentments, and more spilled onto the page. After many pages this calmed down. By the time I ended I had there was greater perspective and peace.



Journaling has always been a useful tool for me.



Holidays

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day. A friend will come to pick me up at 1030 to take me to a local Methodist church that is feeding the entire community for free.



This morning I have begun to express my special thanksgivings to God. I was amazed at all the wonderful people that God has put in my life this year as He brought those to mind.

Also, God has sent to me many units of furniture for free. These include a huge desk, large dining room table, glider, cabinet, and a recliner. I did not pray for or ask any person for them. They were just offered to me out of the blue.



God has done a great job in healing my body many times this year using prayers, over the counter medications, and prescription medicines.



My understanding of the Bible, Jesus, and biblical theology have continued to grow wider and deeper. Some people enjoy sports and others enjoy cooking. I enjoy biblical theology as well as church history, Christian biographies, and apologetics.

God has been my guide this past year into many online resources related to subjects I enjoy.



Christmas shopping is easy for me. I will give my brother an Amazon gift card online. End of story. So all my Christmas shopping will be done in 5 minutes.



Note that I was never married and did not have any children. So I do not have relatives to visit during November or December. I will talk with my brother on Thanksgiving and Christmas like we have for decades. Before my dad died in April this year then he and I would talk on the holidays.



Because most of the people I know get involved with visiting family, shopping, and parties the holidays have been lonely times for me in the past. This year I will redeem the time by going back into the Griefshare workbook. There are parts I marked up like key Bible verses, powerful prayers, and provocative questions. I will dive into those to optimize my griefwork.



Also, I have been challenged by a leader of the Workaholics Anonymous conference call daily to complete a fourth step moral inventory before Christmas. I have accepted that challenge. So I will be again journaling about my resentments, fears, and those I harmed. Many of my deepest resentments relate to my childhood memories of my dad raging at me and my mom. This process will not be fun. But I know from the 7 previous times I did a fourth step it will lead to relief, release, and deep peace.



Hopes

What keeps me going through these difficulties and the greater challenges ahead is the hope that next year I will finally launch and lead an online educational ministry.



Lord willing this season of intense inner healing work will greatly decrease my perfectionism, procrastination, and fears.



I have an overabundance of preparations. I have heaps of notes, mind maps online, and internal plans.



I have the needed equipment and technical skills.



I have the books and website links to guide me when I have troubles.



What has stopped me from my calling, destiny, and purpose has been internal and that is being addressed during this season.



Note that musicians are compelled to play music, painters are compelled to paint, and writers are compelled to write. It is obvious to me that I am not compelled to play music or paint. But I must write to stay sane. I process my life by writing in my journal, sharing with you, and crafting articles.



I live in the 21st century. Most people do not sit around to read newspapers and books all the time like they did a hundred years ago. The younger generation is online. They are consuming videos. I need to get in front of them to share the lessons God has taught me over the decades. I need to do that in ways that are simple, engaging, and biblical.



During this season of intense healing, I have begun yet 2 more online mind maps to capture the many creative ideas that keep coming to me. It is my hope that starting in January of 2019 I will transition from this deep healing phase into an explosion of online lessons and facilitate online communities.



Conclusion

What they said in the Griefshare videos and workbook is that every person grieves differently. It is unique for each person.  



I am pulling back the curtain to share with you what my grief process has been like. There was a lack of closure about my childhood hurts when my dad was alive. This is my complicated way to address those matters so I can better move forward.

I share this to enroll prayer support and to inspire some to finally go on their grief journey.

There are lots of great books on this subject of grief. You can pray fervently and God will guide you to the books you need.


The grief of some people includes an abundance of crying. Others feel numb and can barely function. Still, others get very mad at God and stop attending church.  



The videos showed short clips of those who lost loved ones quickly in a car wreck as well as slowly to cancer. This included spouses, children, and parents.



Such traumatic losses impact any person to their core. While the grief of each person is unique still there are common characteristics to be understood. There are Bible verses and biblical principles to be embraced. Prayers become more authentic.



Let me again extend an invitation for those that want to process grief to find a Griefshare group near you https://www.griefshare.org/findagroup



Prayer

Please pray for me now and later.

Pray for this griefwork to go very deep and very wide. May the Holy Spirit guide my steps and make alive the specific Scriptures that are important for me at this season.

May God grant me strength and courage to complete my workaholics' fourth step inventory before Christmas. That will be a challenge yet very useful in the long term.

During the coming weeks I need to both go into the unknown caves of my soul where these hurts are as well as be gentle with myself in terms of rest and self-care. I trust that my Good Shepherd will guide and provide.

Shalom

John