Pray for complete healing of my toes and for me to continue walking

WALKING

During my evening walk recently I noticed a new pain. It was on my left foot from the middle toe to the ball of the foot. That prompted me to make this prayer request more detailed than just asking to pray for my toes.

I LOVE to walk. That started during high school when I walked my dog. Walking was then and is now a time of renewal mentally and emotionally.

I have never been athletic. I dabbled with various sports but none kept my attention.

Yet if I do not walk twice a day for about 20 minutes then the day is not complete.

When I lived in Dallas it was the long prayer walks that cleared out the anxiety and depression.

When I lived in Pearland, that is south of Houston, it was the super long walks along the country roads that the Holy Spirit used to do a deep work in my soul as I prayed out loud to Jesus Christ.

These days I just walk until I am tired. Other walkers here count their laps around the property. When I get into a groove of prayer my walk can be much longer than most times.

SUMMARY

There have been different pains on different toes for part of a day. This has gone on for weeks. This has never happened to me before.

Appointment with the doctor on March 13. May God give doctor wisdom and guidance.

I am 65 years old and might need to visit a specialist. May the Lord Jesus Christ guide me to the right expert.

I seek primarily natural solutions to any health challenge like nutritional supplements, self-massage, physical therapy, acupressure, etc.

And I am willing to take prescription medication as a last resort. I do not want to introduce artificial chemicals into my body. That might decrease the discomfort but I doubt it will aid the natural systems of the body that was designed wisely by God. I do not want to get into a lifelong habit of dependence on pills, creams, or other crutches.

There are holistic methods and alternative healers that have addressed this matter. It might take longer and cost more but that is acceptable. The insurance will not likely cover that.

Note that over the decades God has healed me dozens of times just by answered prayers.

Recently I had requested prayers for my right foot and that is totally healed. I requested prayers for my neck and shoulders and that is 90 percent better.

NEXT

My next steps are to seek and find a foot doctor online that is holistically oriented in the area. The minibus will go into Ellis and Navarro counties. Plus that doctor needs to accept my health insurance.

I will be searching online. Please pray for God to guide me.

When I first received the large booklet about what my Medicare insurance covered I was shocked to notice that it included all the usual stuff plus 6 visits to a podiatrist with a modest co-pay. My insurance agent said that is because older people can get issues in their feet.

NEIGHBORS

Note that at this apartment complex for senior citizens I am one of the youngest ones. Most are in their 70s and 80s. Plus a few are in their 90s. Of the 74 residents, I would estimate that about 20 are homebound. I see about 12 that use the walkers on wheels. And there are about 3 scooters. So unlike most people who will read this, I am surrounded by many who cannot walk like they did most of their life.

Pray for the fear of not able to walk not to hurt my soul. May God used this to motivate me to take even greater care of my ability to walk.

DETAILS

Most people want the simple summaries and I do my best to keep these brief. Yet the minority want the full details. So what follows is the message I sent to my doctor using the platform for her practice.

THANKFULLY I have had very few pains all my life. SO these MINOR pains are ODD for me. For the last few weeks I have felt pains on different toes for just a part of a day. Often but not always I stop to massage the area around it. I file the toenail. I apply Tiger Balm. Then the discomfort goes away. But in a day or two a different toe has minor pains.

Nothing has changed in terms of my activities or shoes.

If this was the same place over and over that would make sense to me.

Part of me wants to just treat them and move on. There is the faint macho voice inside that says to just deal with the pains. But part of me wants to not only inform you but also put this on my medical record in case it gets worse there will be a history.

Note too that my fingernails are growing at a normal rate. But my toenails are growing much slower than ever. The big toes need to be filed sometimes. Yet the middle toes have not needed to be filed for a long time. And they are not even across the top or sloped outward. They are sloped inward and that has not happened before.

I am wearing the same shoes and socks that I have had for a long time and there seems to be lots of room at the end.

Also as I go to bed my toes feel cold from the inside but not to the touch.

Maybe I need to visit a foot specialist. The minibus goes to Ellis and Navarro counties. Obviously, I want to visit a doctor that is holistic and natural remedy oriented.

Shalom

John

End Free Food, Less Community Garden, Pains in My Shoulder and Neck, Seeking Online Income

The subject line is long because of several changes recently.


FOOD
The owner of the apartments expressed great concern about the possible risks of the distribution of free food for the senior citizens here.

He put many restrictions on what we could do and not do. After discussions with the key volunteers, we decided to cancel the program.

Over the course of a few days, I experienced a range of feelings. I felt mad, sad and then peacefully accepting.


GARDEN
I had planned to invest many hours during the coming months into helping develop the community garden. I enjoy working with teams to accomplish worthwhile goals together. When I am the state of flow, I find myself in the middle of the actions using my organizational and administrative talents to guide us to our agreed upon goals.

After the sudden set back of the end of the free food distribution I lost most but not all my motivation to serve my neighbors and work with the volunteers as much. Today it is my intention to participate some but it will not be a huge part of my life.

The owner could cancel the community garden at any time and for any reason. I do not want to set myself up for a major depression a few months from now.


WORMS
There was an unexpected development related to the community garden. The previous apartment manager kept a worm farm in her office. This was used to feed the top of the bin with kitchen scraps and then harvest the worm urine as well as worm poop called castings from the bottom. I helped her some last year.

The new manager is not interested in keeping up with feeding the worms and harvesting the organic fertilizer for the community garden. So the bin was moved to my apartment a few days ago.

Years ago I had researched worm farms online. Most of the models use several trays. But this product is called the Hungry Bin https://www.hungrybin.co.nz/ It is the size of a recycling bin that could be wheeled to the curb for pickup. This model is also slightly tapered like a funnel.

If you or any of your contacts enjoys gardening for vegetables, flowers, or indoor plants in a big way then this would greatly improve the results.

This video gives a grand overview of Hungar Bin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7_qJY3BPBk

I have had the worms for less than a week. I have made this into an ongoing experiment. I have put the possible foods along the sides, in the corners and parts of the middle. I have noticed that they love mango skins. They do not like kiwi skins or citrus rines. Banana peels are of moderate interest. I have recently shoved fallen leaves along 2 sides.

This device is not cheap. There are many DIY videos to make a worm bin on Youtube. Yet the guidelines would help in any worm farm.

I am very pleased with the feeding guidelines on their website https://www.hungrybin.co.nz/instructions/feeding/

I check in on the worms after my morning walk.

Note that I do not have a spouse, child or pet. My 2 house plants are hearty. So this is a way to both learn by doing and care for a living being.

SHOULDER AND NECK
Pray for the complete healing of my shoulder and neck.

Recently there have been pains in my right shoulder the right side of my neck and sometimes up to my right ear and right jaw.

I believe that there are several factors related to the cause and the solution to this condition.

Here is the background. For most of my life I have sometimes felt a little extra tension in both shoulders and my neck. This happened briefly and then there was no discomfort for many months.

On April 15th of last year my father died.  I entered into a long season of grief work. That took me into levels and layers awareness about my emotions and sensations in my physical body.

During that long season of grieving, I became to notice that when I was in taking too much news without processing it then my guts hurt. When I felt upset about the adolescent political posturing in DC, macho saber-rattling internationally, general excess of sex and violence throughout the media. I could get overwhelmed. I could not digest all the yuck inputs mentally and emotionally so my abdomen churned. That pointed me to pray better and decrease the intake of news.

My ongoing challenge is to find a new dynamic balance between being in the world and not of the world.

How can I be aware of what's happening in current events while knowing the limits of my personal influence and find what is my private responsibility and is in my finite lifetime?

The bottom line is that I have a teeny tiny responsibility to communicate the truth and love one day at a time here in my itty bitty corner of the universe.

I'm reminded of the Serenity Prayer that has help me sort out such matters hundreds of times over the decades. That prayer says God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

So it is wise to let go of what I cannot change while noticing and working on what I can change.

No matter how hard I look around I will never find a red phone in my apartment with a direct link to Washington DC, Moscow or the UN Security Council. They really do not care about my opinion. I have zero impact on international relationships.

There are small medium and large shifts happening in our society and economy. These are happening at a rapid rate with all kinds of long-term ripples. It just like an approaching thunderstorm. I don't have the power to change the forces of nature. What I can do is get ready mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

This does relate to the discomfort in my shoulder and neck. I have become increasingly aware of the interactions between my thoughts, feelings, and body.

As I have been zooming in on what things I do have the power to authority over and as I dial down all my worries about matters that are far too vast for me to influence. This is been both helpful and complicating.

Here is the deal. Honestly, I feel like I am responsible for everything all the time. The insanity is that there is toxic programming in my mind that says it's all up to me. As I write this I know rationally that is unreasonable. But emotionally I think that's what is behind the aches in my shoulder and neck.

When I was a kid mother took me and my brother to the Houston museum. And out on the grounds was a large statue of Atlas holding the world on his shoulders. There have been moments in recent weeks when that image of resonated with me at a very deep level.

It is like spiritually and emotionally there is the giant globe the size of a huge beach ball that is resting on my right shoulders as my neck is tilted to the left.

All the horrible problems in the news are and getting worse. The government is not solving these. Corporations are making matters worse. And the church is out to lunch. So the conclusion is that this mere mortal John who is a  senior citizen must put on his superhero costume and save society from its self-destruction path.

I believe God is peeling back my awareness of the core of my soul.

To be frank with you I feel distressed by the kind of world that we are leaving to the next generations. I do not want to just witness this slow-motion train wreck. I want to find a way that my time, talents and energies will make a lasting difference.

So it gets down to is the following questions. What mine to do? What is my divine assignment? What is my mission? What is a vision for my life? How can I best know and obey the will of God for my life? What is my purpose? These are the kinds of matters that have plagued me most of my life.

It does help that the current obsession in our consumeristic and materialistic society is obsessed about getting, consuming, and enjoying as much as possible as fast as possible in the present without much concern consideration for the future.

Most of us are tragically ignorant of history. We do not understand the patterns of the past.

We do not have lots of useful lessons from those who went before us to help us guide us in the critical decisions that must be made in our ordinary life.

We do not recognize the painful and long term consequences of our self-centered and short term poor choices.

Besides science fiction, fantasy, drama, and nature shows I also watch documentaries and biographies. The latter ones give me historic perspectives on the current events that the others do not.

So what kind of a lasting legacy will those who come after us inherit? Do we really love and care deeply about our children and grandchildren? What about the children and grandchildren that they will have? We are fortunate to have received a great many benefits from previous generations. Will future generations say the same of us?

Yet the bottom line is that we are all mortal. Someday will be our last day. I believe that each of us will give an account to God privately. So how are we doing individually and collectively? Is there room for improvements? What needs to change? How will it change?


NEIGHBORS
I spent three years living in a homeless shelter in Dallas. There I learned first-hand about that small segment of our complex society that is often neglected.

Here I'm living with dozens of senior citizens. It's a different segment part of society that is neglected.

I have been here just over a year and a half. But in this brief time, I witnessed the rapid decline of several of my neighbors.

My age is 65 years old. Most of my neighbors are in their 70s and 80s. A few are in their 90s.

And all of my life I have never seen myself or be seen by anybody else is being athletic. Yet here I have consistently gone for a walk twice a day for about 20 minutes. When I first came here there were six of us that way daily. Now there are only two. One of the most consistent walkers has been in the hospital for months.

One of the most alert energetic helpful kind neighbors when I first came here has become mentally and emotionally decreased. She used to be always actively helping lots of people. These days she helps no one and her conversational skills are rapidly decreasing.

Some neighbors have fallen and sustained significant injuries.

A few neighbors that I did not know have died.

So this is a setting that's very much unlike a typical suburban neighborhood.

God has used this setting to remind me to be diligent in my exercise, nutrition, and care about safety.

The vast majority of my neighbors sit at home and watch TV all day and all night. I have enough retirement income so that I could do the same. But such an excessively passive lifestyle would cause my mind and emotions to slowly rot.


INCOME
Thankfully all my basic needs are met from my retirement income.

Yet I have lots of wants like most people. I might have a lifestyle like a monk but I have not overcome all my desires. There are many items waiting for me in online Wish Lists.

So what has been happening inside me has been a major shift from an intention to investing most of my available time and energy to volunteer to serve my neighbors to instead investing most of my time and energy into earning income online.

I have been praying and God has been answering my prayers. The new direction is unexpected. It is not the same ministry focus as before. It is more like a business and less like a nonprofit.

I have been reviewing and using the questions and templates related to starting a business. This is the season to get clear about such matters as mission, vision, values, major goals, marketing niche, etc. Then from those concepts will flow the practical projects and tasks.


PRAYER
I am reminded of the 2 slogans
Keep It Simple and
Easy Does It.

Each of those slogans contains a huge amount of use for guidance. Together they make for a dynamic duo. It is those two instructions I would like to insert into the operating system of my mind.

So pray for me to keep it simple.

And as I move through this complex transition may I gracefully move through this season in my life.

If I had lots of money then I would visit a chiropractor and a massage therapist. Probably nearly all this shoulder and neck pain would dissolve. But I need to live within my limitations. And that means that I'm learning to massage my body better. I am stretching my body better. And I am requesting prayers better.

When I searched online for ways to relieve pains in my neck and shoulder I came on many offered by physical therapists. There are dozens of options. I am not going to do all of them. May God guide me to the few that are most suitable at this time.

Also what has helped has been to do a visualization meditation where I imagine that I take this heavy weight off me and put it down on the earth. When I have done that I immediately felt relief in my body and emotions.

The recent twists and turns of my life need to be processed both internally and externally.

I rearranged my workstation to help me better focus on this new enterprise.

Each day I have been both letting go of my previous hopes and plans while shifting gears to embrace the new direction.

I understand that this message is long and wordy. But there are several important topics covered.

The bottom lines are that I process best by writing and I have learned over the decades that it is wise to request prayers during times like this.

Thank you for reading this far. That is a big blessing to me.

I sent this out to a few dozen people like I have for years. I do not know how many open and read this. I do not know how many pray. But I do experiences shifts and blessings when I share in this way.

During the coming weeks and months, I must increase my support base in order for the planned business enterprise to get off the drawing table and into the reality where others will benefit.

Please pray for God to connect me with excellent intercessors and may I communicate with them consistently.

Please pray for God to connect me with wise advisers and may I engage with them as the blueprint of the enterprise is completed and the initial products are launched.

I request your best prayers both now and in the future as the Holy Spirit prompts you.

Shalom
John

Traditional Jewish prayer for a traveler that you can adapt

Traditional Jewish prayer for a traveler that you can adapt

During my decades as a Christian, I have sometimes heard requests for traveling mercies. This especially happens when a person is going on a long journey or for a short term mission team. 

I understand the needs for prayers in general and especially when there are so many unknowns while traveling.  

Things could go very good or very bad. Amazing experiences could be enjoyed along the way. Or luggage could be seriously delayed. 

I have heard of those who prayed for divine appointments and then God put them next to a person on a plane flight that needed exactly what they had to offer.

What follows is the English translation of a traditional Jewish prayer. At the link is the original Hebrew in text and audio. 

This can be prayed by any Christian just as it is written. The essential factor is to have genuine faith in God during the time of praying. Expect God to hear and answer. The words alone are not magic. 

Such written prayers are handy vehicles to carry a message to God who will answer in His ways and in His timing.

Also, like the traditional Lord's Prayer, this can be used as a template to inspire and guide more prayers. 

Traveler’s Prayer in English Translation

May it be Your will, Lord, our God and the God of our ancestors, that You lead us toward peace, guide our footsteps toward peace, and make us reach our desired destination for life, gladness, and peace. May You rescue us from the hand of every foe, ambush along the way, and from all manner of punishments that assemble to come to earth. May You send blessing in our handiwork, and grant us grace, kindness, and mercy in Your eyes and in the eyes of all who see us. May You hear the sound of our humble request because You are God Who hears prayer requests. Blessed are You, Lord, Who hears prayer.

https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/tefilat-haderekh-the-travelers-prayer/ 

If you like that then also consider this traditional prayer for a sick person that can be prayed as written or adapted.

https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/mi-sheberakh-may-the-one-who-blessed/ 

At that link, there are those who sing it in Hebrew. 

Shalom

John

Tiny progress with my budgeting activities

Tiny progress with my  budgeting activities

SUMMARY

Yesterday I had a plan to work on my budget by updating Every Dollar online service www.everydollar.com  I had not been there for at least 7 weeks. 

It was a tip-top priority today and yesterday. Then with difficulty, I finally got to it late in the evening. There was an abundance of distractions and interruptions. 

I could only stand to work there for about a half an hour. It was too mentally and emotionally exhausting. 

The good news is that I did take a tiny step The bad news is that my pattern has been to not carry through.

it is like an overweight couch potato finally getting up to jog for 20 minutes. That is an important start. But there needs to be more of the same on a consistent basis. 

So I am requesting your best prayers. This is evidently a spiritual matter for me.  I have the knowledge, skill, and motivation but for decades this has been a chronic obstacle. 

HISTORY

Last month I had unplanned expenses that put me into a cash flow pinch and used all my saving plus needing to borrow some money.

That money has been repaid.

Such a bump motivated me to again address the need to gain the healthy habit of using a monthly budget.

One of my greatest weaknesses all my life has been how I have avoided, neglected, or ignored using a basic budget.

Over the decades I have attempted many times to set up and use a basic budget. That included paper-based before PCs, then computer-based and then web-based. 

As a single man that lives alone and values a simple lifestyle, there are zero complications. There has been no need for clever tax considerations or investment opportunities,

SAVINGS

I have been well aware and agreed with the importance of savings. 

Last fall I set aside 10 dollars cash. I was super tempted to spend it before my retirement money arrived. I held that 10 dollars for a few months. Then I added 10 more. I held 20 with difficulty. Last month it was 40 dollars used to plug the hold. I had that 40 for about 6 weeks. So my intention is to juggle my money this month to start at 40.

OBSTACLES

Today when I was on the budgeting site there were both moments of flow and moments of frustration.

My reason and intuition understand the concepts.

But I hit the wall several times as I was learning how to interface with this online service. Over the decades I have taught myself lots of software programs and online services. But because this deals with my money there was an emotional charge ready to spark.

Currently, I receive a large income stream early in the month as my retirement direct deposit. then toward the end of the month, a gracious friend sends a generous gift. So the income is predictable. And likewise, the expenses are predictable. So logically a personal budget should be a breeze.

By contrast, for much of my adult life, my income was not as predictable. I had part-time or full-time jobs or no job. I had a small, medium, or large income from supporters.

Besides raising funds for my living expenses I also raised funds for individuals I was serving.

There were 7 years that I help raise money for a disabled veteran that was my neighbor. Some might remember Shebaa Green. She had many health challenges and was in much pain. She finally died. There were months that 10 to 20 percent of my income from working at the seminary went to pay her immediate bills for medicine and more. Plus I raised hundreds of more dollars from generous people.

Those were stressful and exciting days. More than ever I came to embrace the significance of the part of the Lord's Prayer that says give us this day our daily bread. Because there were many times I was living on the knife edge financially for her and me. Too many times to count the money arrived at the last minute.

During that long and painful season, I was terrified to do a budget. I felt that if I put all these numbers down and looked at them rationally I would jinks the magic. If my logical mind saw the amazing ways God was supplying our needs then the miracle provisions would stop.

She died more than 6 years ago. But that fear of budgeting is just one of my internal challenges. I trust that God can heal and deliver me of that as He answers prayers.


BACKGROUND
My many years in 12 step recovery work has taught me to always consider childhood trauma and modeling as a major factor to shape adult behaviors.

My father was a mechanical engineer that got an MBA and became an executive manager. He was very hard working. He was in the oil and gas industry in Houston during the 1950s, 1960s, and 1970s. That industry was booming during those times.

My dad got promotions and increased income. Our family went from a small duplex when I was born in 1953 to a huge house in an affluent neighborhood by the time I was 10 years old.

My dad did the bills and taxes when spread out on the dining room table. While he was dealing with money has as especially stressed. I learned to avoid or tiptoe around him then. So he modeled that paying bills and taxes was a bad thing.



NEEDS vs. WANTS