Feeling Less Depressed - THANK God

By the grace of God, I am feeling MUCH better.

God has been answering the prayers of many people. 

I am grateful for your support. 

After many days of overcast skies, the sun came out today in the Dallas area. I went for a long walk to bask in the bright sunshine and sat in a porch swing to enjoy more sun.

Lately, my prayers have included MANY more expressions of thanksgiving.

Thankfully, my headaches are GONE.

PROMPTS

Soon after I sent out the recent prayer request I was taking my daily walk. I have always asked God for wisdom and I have asked others to pray for God to grant me wisdom. See James 1: 5 and Proverbs 2, 3 and 4.

During that walk, I felt inspired to notice all the things that are blocking my life. I put those on keywords on index cards. Then I put those cards face up on the dresser so that I see them daily. I have used those cards to remind me to briefly pray over them.  Mostly these are things I have been procrastination about for far too long. 

Please pray for me to make faith-filled prayers as often as needed until these stuck items move and are no longer obstacles. 

JOURNAL

Shortly after I sent out the urgent prayer request earlier I got out a new single subject spiral notebook and Palomino Blackwing pencil. I dumped out all my thoughts and feelings. I kept writing no matter what came up. 

When disturbing thought would occur to me away from the journal I quickly went back to writing in it. I put the dark thought at the top of a new page and asked myself why I felt that way. I kept peeling that onion. 

Gradually the pain behind that impulse dissolved.  The writing was full of uck expressed in different ways. It rarely repeated. Doing that was like taking medicine for sickness. I am ready to continue but the drive to dig into those places has decreased.

MEDITATION

I know that most Christians are not keen on meditation. Yet both prayer and meditation are highly recommended in the 12 step recovery program meetings I have attended. Just stopping to observe the breath can help to calm the mind and emotions. What works for me is to breathe slowly and count my breaths from 1 to 10 and start again counting from 1 to 10. I have done that many times this week and used the recorded guided meditations. 

DRAW

I have not yet begun the Draw-a-Box https://drawabox.com/ lessons. I feel intimidated after scanning the lessons. I believe it will be a great way for me to finally understand and apply the fundamentals of drawing in the long term.

God reminded me of much simpler drawing related books I own. 

Art of Business Communications by Graham Shaw teaches how to make super simple drawings to illustrate business messages. I LOVE to write and when I can include related drawings I made then they would be easier to understand and more appealing. 

Zentangle 1 by Suzanne McNeil is a super simple workbook. I have started and stopped using it many times. A Zentangle is a kid of a doodle on a small unit of paper. There are lots of Youtube videos and websites that offer lessons. But what I have found with those and all other drawing instructions they LEAP from beginner to intermediate and advanced lessons. I need the SIMPLEST lessons that GRADUALLY progress. 

Please pray for me to both begin and continue with any or all these. I put on my calendar to draw on Saturdays. But mostly I have ignored my own guidance. 

NEWS

I have struggled to decrease my news intake. 

Mostly I want to know realistically what are the long term risks of the coronavirus for me, my senior citizen neighbors, and others.

Note that there are about 74 neighbors here in the small apartment complex for seniors. Many of them cannot even walk to the dumpster to take out their trash. So the maintenance man picks it up at their front door on Monday and Thursday mornings.  They could not sit down on the floor or in a bathtub to get up again. They use the walkers with wheels. Many cannot drive. ALL of them watch TV. It is on CONSTANTLY all day and all night. Imagine what it is like for them to get news updates about the coronavirus. 

Please pray for my neighbors and other seniors. Pray for their mental and emotional health amidst all the uncertainty. Most of them are isolated. Family members might make rare contacts. Many of their long term friends may be dead or infirm. A few of them play BINGO weekly and attend the monthly pot luck lunches. 

I know many of them personally. I want to be of service to my neighbors. That service might be to pass along simple and wise recommendations IF the coronavirus reaches our small town. 

TIME

My creative imagination can come up with dozens of appealing projects and hundreds of tiny tasks. So I have been constantly studying time management and productivity. I have used lots of different time management tools. 

Long ago I read the classic time-management book by David Allen titled Getting Things Done https://gettingthingsdone.com/ Here is an infographic that is a summary of the book that has helped many thousands of people https://ideas2followup.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/gtd-workflow.jpg

There are many videos by David Allen about Getting Things Done by others on Youtube.

One part of the system that has helped me the most is to quickly capture new ideas and put them into a system that you trust. So I carry paper and a pen with me all the time. I jot down my fresh ideas. Then I put them on Kanbanflow www.kanbanflow.com where I organize my short term ToDo tasks. These include appointments, purchases, emails, reminders, etc. And for the longer term and Bigi Picture projects, I use Mindmup www.mindmup.com which is an online mind mapping service. 

What David teaches and I have experienced is by doing this I have greater peace of mind. So my brain is not always working to remind me because it knows there is an external record. 

There are so many items online that I use a way to prioritize them. In some areas, I use NOW, NEXT, SOON, LATER and DONE. In other areas, I use High, Medium, and Low priority. 

This has worked well for me for may years. BUT thanks to answered prayers I noticed that this had become far too cluttered. There were lots of duplicates and outdated items. 

I have felt led to review and prune these tools. So it has been like cleaning out a junk drawer, overstuffed closet, and jumbled garage storage area. 

I recall in the old days I had heaps of printed materials in manila file folders. Then every 1 to 3 years I needed to purge and reorder them. 

Just like in the old days this has often felt tedious. But at the end of the day, it was refreshing to look back on nicely ordered areas that had been chaotic. 

This is not busywork. It relates to my recent times of depression. My ToDo lists and projects were far too disorganized. I felt overwhelmed and conflicted. So after some effort, I would quit hide out in some escape activity. 

Little by little, I am getting clarity about both what I need to work on in the short term and how that will contribute to the long terms goals. Please pray for me to have the concentration and strength to complete this digital housecleaning. 

GOALS

My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. I like to take several days to reflect and genuinely thank God for my recent and past blessings. 

My second most favorite holiday is New Years. I like to look back on the previous year and forward to the coming year. 

On the one hand, New Years Resolutions have been fruitless for me. I seek to change far too much that never becomes a reality. Yet, on the other hand, I have been using a different approach that others advocate. I pick One Word for the year as a core focus. My One Word for 2020 is FOUNDATIONAL. I intend to focus on doing what it takes to lay a good foundation for my growth and development the future years. 

Several of the teachers I follow on Youtube gave guidelines to orient and prepare for 2020. Some of them emphasized thinking super long term like aspirations for the coming decade due to the change from 2019 to 2020. So many of those inspirations cluttered up my online mind maps. 

Those distant horizon ideas for the coming years serve to inspire and motivate me. But I need to keep them in perspective. Then what I concentrate on thee days will lead to those desirable outcomes. 

VISION

What I feel called by God to do for the next 10 years is just like how I have felt led for the last 20 years. I see myself as an educator and a teacher. 

The notes in my files point to launching and leading an innovative educational enterprise. There I will be one of many teachers. 

It will harness the communication tool and methods used in business and apply those for missional purposes. The target market is still international college students studying in the USA. It will be like the Continuing Education departments of colleges. There will be Continuing Education Unit (CEU) credits awarded and certificates. 

Unlike most educational institutions the departments will focus on non-traditional core areas like time management, talent management, academic skills, essentials of Christianity, adulting (basic life skills for young adults), singleness, marriage, and parenting. These are the kinds of lessons that young adults need yet they are rarely taught in a systematic way. 

COURSE and COMMUNITY 

I have been limping along for many years based on what I learned from various teachers online and books. What I have is a patchwork that is better than nothing but very imbalances. 

After many prayed for me I noticed a new online course that is by a teacher I respect and at a price I can afford. Brian Johnson for Optimize https://www.optimize.me/ has begun a new 10-month online mastery course. For only 12.99 a month I have access to the new lessons as they roll out. Plus there is the archive of previous courses. 

And unlike a book, there is an active online community that discusses the lessons. 

What makes Brian Johnson unique is that he has been reading and giving a summary of hundreds of books online for years https://www.youtube.com/user/PhilosophersNotes/playlists 

This course is his way to weave together all he has learned for the last 20 years. This video gives an overview of the course  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoDDsrKUAHo 

I have put taking this online course on my list of projects as a top priority. This aligns with my One Word of FOUNDATIONAL. As I learn and apply the lessons it will pave the way to consistently progress in the future.

You are invited to take the course too. And if you do let me know.

Please pray that I make time to both hear the lessons and do the exercises. Plus what will help me as much or more is engaging with fellow students online. 

CONCLUSION

Studies show that many men die soon after they retire. When there is no meaningful long term pursuit that is linked to short term activities then laziness can set in. Mental, emotional, and physical health can decline. Most of my neighbors are widows because their husbands died long ago. 

The good news is that I can sleep as long as I like and most days that includes a nap. 

I do not need to deal with cranky customers or office politics. 

I do not need to cope with commuting to and from work.

All of those parts are great. 

I have been in Ennis for two and a half years. 

I have dabbled with many projects. 

I have written and shared many units. But they were not part of a long term strategy. 

It is time for me to take responsibility to do what it takes to obey what I believe God has been calling me to do for decades. 

The people who are taking the Optimize mastery course are ready, willing, and able to make radical changes in their lives. They know it will not be easy but it will be worth it in the long term.

I appreciate your prayers. 

I trust that God answers prayers in His way and in His time.

I am grateful that you have read this long message. I wish it was shorter but there are many complicated and inner connected matters in my life. 

Even the act of writing this and the previous message was therapeutic. Always writing means I must translate my various thoughts and feelings into words that make sense. 

Shalom

John 

My Disappointments Fueled My Depression

I had become so overcome by the news that I became emotionally paralyzed. 

God answered many prayers and that helped to relieve the symptoms. The Lord led me to talk with various people about how they were dealing with the news about the coronavirus. That gave me a broader and more peaceful perspective. 

There was more besides my fears about that virus harming me or my neighbors who are senior citizens. 

I have felt deeply disappointed in my lack of progress on the many projects I have started and not completed. 

I have felt disappointed that political leaders talk like adolescents. They do not talk and act like the wise elders we need these days. They are not leading us to bridge the many polarizing gaps. They are not facing the hard truths needed to deal with the issues at hand. 

I have felt disappointed that the local churches and most Christians are not obviously salt and light that is required to heal individuals and groups. Christians are known by the outside world for their self-righteousness and not their compassionate care. Thankfully there are some individuals, mission agencies, and parachurch organizations that are clearly Christ-like and getting the biblically mandated jobs done. 

When I objectively review the current state of our nation and the international affairs I feel bad about the next generations. What legacy are we leaving for the children and grandchildren? 

We have all these gee-whiz new technologies. We have all these labor-saving devices, We have all this prosperity so that all our real needs are met and we worry about meeting all our wants. Yet are we so distracted, entertained, over-worked, selfish that we do not notice or care for others? 

We have plenty of news and documentaries about those that cannot help themselves. We give plastic toys that are costly and wear out to children. Yet veterans with PTSD are left to suffer from nightmares when there are proven therapies that are not affordable to them. We click on news headlines about those children at the borders and get outraged. But we do not take great care of battered women and children that are here in our cities. We whine about the weather, taxes, and celerity gossip but do not take measures to get enough sleep, eat healthy foods, and exercise better. 

We could take a little of our blessings to greatly benefit others overseas so that they can have clean water, learn to read, gain a marketable skill, have initial livestock to raise and feed their family. 

I admit that I am an idealist. I find myself in a real-world that is far from ideal. I accept that perfection is not possible. But when I consider history I note that humans for thousands of years before us struggled in ways we cannot imagine just to survive from day-to-day. We are a spoiled people in the USA. I believe we have an obligation to our ancestors that sacrificed for us to do the best with what we have and not just accept mediocracy. 

SERENITY

So the bottom line is that I come back to the Serenity Prayer. 

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and wisdom to know the difference. 

I cannot change how the coronavirus operates. I cannot change the hyped ways it has been reported. 

I cannot change the economic ripples of the disruptions of the supply chain worldwide. 

I can change the ways I deal with my fears and anxieties. I can take precautions to minimize my exposure to this or any illness. I can trust God to meet my needs no matter what happens to the global economy. 

I cannot change the ingrained habits and attitudes of others including my neighbors, church members, fellow citizens, or those thousands of miles away. I can change my own habits and attitudes gradually. 

SLOGANS 

Besides the Serenity Prayer, what has helped me has been to recall and apply the slogans I learned at the 12 step recovery meetings over the decades. 

FIRST THINGS FIRST reminds me to be diligent in reviewing my priorities. I make major and minor adjustments to my priorities each day and week. I use these online tools Kanbanflow www.kanbanflow.com and Mindmup www.mindmup.com I do my best to just focus on the top priorities and trust God for what does not get done. 

EASY DOES IT reminds me to be gentle with myself. It is easy to try to accomplish all the items on my ToDo lists. But that is not possible so I choose to relax and do as much as I can at a gentle pace. 

ONE DAY AT A TIME reminds me to focus the best of my energy on this present day. I can do that best when I have also invested some time to review and review my priorities. I have made it a habit to use part of Mondays to prune my plans for the week and take care of lingering tasks from the past. 

Been Deeply Depressed - Please Pray

SYMPTOMS

I admit that I have had an inclination to depression. And because of that, I have learned many methods to avoid or cope with depression. 

But sometimes it gets overwhelming and I need to request prayers. 

Recently I have felt waves of depression and despair. 

I have struggled with hating my life. 

I have felt mad at groups and institutions. 

There has been an absence of hope. 

I have been having odd headaches that I feel on different parts of my head every few minutes. And I rarely have any headaches.

I am not a risk of hurting myself or others. But I often lack the will to keep moving forward. 

There are some thought patterns that repeat in my thinking that trouble me. 

I have been binge-watching Netflix more than ever before.

I have an abundance of writing projects planned and prioritized. But even though I am retired without a job I only invest 1 to 2 hours a day on them. When I am in a better headspace I average is 3 to 4 hours a day. While I am writing in the creativity zone then time disappears. I feel energized and fulfilled afterward. When I notice steady progress toward desired goals I feel good about myself. I have known musicians and artists to need to practice their craft as much as possible for their mental and emotional health. 

NOT CAUSES

Here are considerations that are not the causes of my current challenges.

I have been getting plenty of sleep and exercise. I have been eating healthy foods. I do not feel sick. So I do not believe this depression has a physical cause.

My personal relationships could use improvements. But there are no conflicts or grief currently.

My finances could use improvements. But there is no crisis there.

My spiritual practices could use improvements. But that is always the case.

CAUSE - Coronavirus 

The news about the coronavirus has me very worried. I feel concerned for my personal safety and the safety of others. I want to know the facts about how it is spread and how lethal it really is. I have seen many short videos on Youtube about this. I have felt upset about both the coverups and fearful projections of the long term possibilities.    

There are reports that thousands have been evacuated from the area of the initial outbreak to many nations. So more cases worldwide are likely. 

I live in a small town. And I live a simple lifestyle without much contact with groups expect at church and grocery shopping. So my personal risk is tiny. 

My neighbors in the senior community are in their 70s and 80s. They take 8 to 12 prescription pills a day. Some of them are visited by relatives often. Such a virus could harm or kill them.

 My imagination keeps running worst-case scenarios about possible spreading. I mention these not to frighten you but to share my worries and enroll your best prayers. There are places that any virus could spread and that includes waiting rooms, subways, sporting events, parties, hospitals, airplanes, schools, playgrounds, prisons, ghettos, and churches. This is where the common cold could spread too.

I do not want to deny these possibilities nor get paranoid. 

Please pray for me to have a balanced perspective on the coronavirus and how it might impact me as well as others.

CAUSE - Politics 

Before the 2016 elections, I could easily ignore politics. Since then nearly every news report and celebrity have had a political spin. 

All the hype has gotten distressing. 

People love or hate Trump. And they live in their insulated silos where they never hear the other side of any issue. 

I continue to be an independent moderate. In my opinion, Trump is neither a devil nor an angel. 

There is an abundance of vitally important issues that are not being addressed due to the ongoing political circus. 

I have had deep emotional issues with the immature ways of congress since I was a teen. Neither party is perfect. It seems tragic that the congress and president have rarely behaved like a team in wise and honorable ways. 

It hurts my heart that the elected and appointed workers in DC have been so greedy and selfish.  

What makes matters worse is that the USA is a huge player on the international stage. Their collective dysfunction in DC has, directly and indirectly, impacted millions of citizens in most other countries. 

SERENITY 

This reminds me of the Serenity Prayer.

God, 

grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference. 

This simple prayer has helped me thousands of times in the past. 

For me, this prayer is not a religious saying just to repeat when I hurt. 

There are insights and guidance packed into those few words.

I start from the end and go to the beginning.

I seek God to sort out what I can and cannot change in a difficult situation like what is happening in my life now.  

Then I seek courageous ways to change what I can.

Finally, I let go and let God have what I cannot change. 

CHANGE

What I can change is the inputs into my life and activities each day and week. 

I can temporarily stop the inputs of news and commentary. 

I can increase the inputs of helpful books. 

I can journal better. 

I can meditate better. 

I can take online drawing lessons. 

NEWS

During the previous years, I fasted from news and commentary during Lent. Each time that was a huge help. I had more peace of mind and emotional stability. The current events continued to happen without my keeping up with each twist and turn. 

This year Lent starts on February 27. This year I will start this fast after I have sent out this message. As I reviewed this message before sending it I hesitate to go cold turkey. Instead, I commit to decreasing my consumption until zero by Lent. 

BOOKS

I have a few self-help books by my reading chair. These are Unstuck by Matt Perman, High-Performance Habits by Brendon Burchard, and The Code of the Extraordinary Mind by Vishen Lakhiani. I had been reading and applying them very slowly. So without all the news and commentary, I will have more time and energy for those books. Please pray for me to make times for this. And I am not in a hurry to finish any of them. Each one is packed with useful exercises that I intend to apply. 

JOURNAL

What I can change is how much I write in my journal. Over the decades I have experienced the best breakthrus when I just wrote out all my thoughts and feelings. As I got totally honest with myself I was amazed at what came spilling out. Note that most writers that have been interviewed have habitually kept a journal. My recent habit has been to write a little and it has been shallow. Pray for me to write much and to go deep. Also, note that those who teach journaling recommend using paper instead of digital. They say this gets more at the guts of the matters.

MEDITATION 

Another practice that has helped me over the decades has been meditation. When I am meditating well then my prayers and writing improve. I have experimented with many meditation techniques and apps over the decades. Youtube has hundreds of options. I liked Calm  https://www.calm.com/  Headspace https://www.headspace.com/  Onvana https://play.omvana.com/ They have a blend of nature sounds and guided meditations. 

The one that I have begun to use recently and had the best results with is Brain FM https://www.brain.fm/ If you want to know about the science behind meditation then Brian FM has a great summary. Plus online there are plenty of research reports. 

This reminds me of the infomercials that promote fitness equipment for your home use. To just have a treadmill or stationary bike handy does not mean it will be used consistently. These meditation apps are like that. They are full of potential. Please pray for me to habitually use brain FM to meditate. There is also an option to play sounds in the background to help with focus. And I have found that they help.

DRAW

I admit that I am a recovering workaholic. My thoughts and feelings have been tangled up with plans and projects related to work. I have lots of lists of prioritized projects related to launching and leading an innovative educational enterprise. I have been working on parts of this for decades. I have recently completed a simple summary of my hundreds of pages of notes. I will be seeking advisers and funding. 

As a recovering workaholic, I need to incorporate fun into my life. And that does not mean watching more Netflix shows. The kind of fun that will work addiction needs to fit into my budget and schedule. As I have prayed about this and explored the options my conclusion has repeatedly led me to the activity of drawing. I have bought many drawing pencils and papers over the years. I have books about drawing that I have read but they did not motivate me to draw on a consistent basis. 

I have explored many online lessons about drawing but they did not connect with me.  Then I came on these online lessons that might work for me. It is called Draw a Box https://drawabox.com/ here is their  Youtube playlist

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLA7yj0dxiUGuOxvDKZyieaevO7UAABgjn 

My intention is to stop avoiding drawing and use this popular program as my way to get over my block. 

RELEASE

The things I cannot change are the coronavirus and congress. So the simple solution is to Let Go and Let God. That is easier said than done. But trusting God with my worries is the best solution.

CONCLUSION

I request your best prayers.

THANKS again for each of your prayers. They make a BIG difference.

God always answers prayers in His way and in His timing. 

Shalom

John

PLEASE comment about these videos - I want to know your perceptions

Like most people, I live in a very insulating and isolating set of habits.

The same sorts of stimuli bring the same sorts of responses.

This has been called living in an echo chamber.

My thoughts and feelings get reflected and reinforced endlessly. 

Frankly, I get tired of being exposed to the same kinds of messages constantly.

I want to be inspired, challenged, and stretched mentally.

The following 3 messages got me thinking in new and different ways.

I offer these to you to stimulate your thinking and perceiving.

I invite your comments.

Your comments will broaden my horizons. 

If you have encountered similar videos or podcasts that shook your world, then please share them. 

If you like this like of free form and provocative communications then maybe we can meet online.

Do you have experience leading a Facebook group or online forum?

How could you join me and others to engage meaningfully? 

There really is life beyond family, career, church, politics, sports, entertainment, etc.

I have zero ideas where this might go or if it will go nowhere. 

I let go of the results and just request your best responses to these videos. 

This is a fresh perspective on a common facet of life, work.

This poem brings nobility and light to the mundane subject of work. 

The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran - Work

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZDJmSsUPXw

This strips away so much to get to the guts of reality.

I had suspected bits of this before.

But he wove together insights in a reasonable way.

Simple 30 Minute Guided Meditation

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nt6ZU4eE5l4

Amazing insights into the mind of one of the founders of Apple. 

This is a peek into how the computer revolution began.

The ripples of Steve Job's choices are impacting economies and societies worldwide. 

I am staggered at his insights into business operations at such an early stage.

Steve Jobs rare footage conducting a presentation on 1980 (Insanely Great)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lvMgMrNDlg&list=PLFF128C94C3D7D2D5
S




l

Before I moved to Ennis I lived in East Dallas and there were homes built more than 100 years ago.

Many of the homes have front porches where family members and neighbors chatted.  

This was before air conditioning, radio, or TV so people had lots of time to converse.

Note that biographies inform us that writers and artists met at coffee houses and pubs.

Thousands of years ago we humans gathered around campfires like the nomadic tribes do today.

I submit to you that some of the deep needs of humans are to be seen, heard, and respected.

Yet where, when, and how does the ordinary person have an opportunity to share?

We have the communication tools to form virtual gathering places online.

The financial price is zero but it would take a measure of courage and humility to gather.  

The big cost would be to insert such interactions into a life that seems crowded.

If that was to happen then what might be the benefits individually and collectively?

I request your best prayers.

Shalom

John S. Oliver