How I intend to optimize my 66th birthday that is today

Normally I consider my birthday as just another ordinary day.

At my age numbers are not important.

My biological family is just my brother Jim and my nephew Trevor who is in St Louis.

I did receive greetings from my stepmother Pili who is in Hawaii and still grieving the passing of my dad about a year ago.

SO there is no way for all family members to gather face-to-face for birthdays, Christmas, etc.

Therefore my church family and those who receive these emails are my extended family.

I do not have a vehicle nor much spare money. So I must keep it simple today.

I will go to a local Steak and Shake for a meal. And I will bring home some Haagen Dazs ice cream.

I have decided to set aside my normal projects and tasks for this day.

I began the day by journaling. There have been many thoughts and feelings that have kept bouncing around inside of me. When I write those down then they do not trouble me in the same way. I have more peace. Then other junk comes up later.

Yesterday was especially disturbing.

During Lent, I had given up watching the news and commentaries. That led to more peace of mind and more times for short prayers.

So Lent ended on Easter and I went back to a few of my favorite sources. And that was a shock to my system. All kinds of internal junk got stirred up. And that is part of what I need to journal about today and later.

Also, I find myself taking much longer to launch the online business. There are logical reasons and emotional factors that I need to put into writing.

As an Enneagram Type 1 that is called a Perfectionist and Reformer, there are always matters to journal about.  I never live up to my impossibly high expectations of myself. I often feel disappointed that those in Washington DC have not led our country in wise ways over the decades.  I feel sad and disappointed that the Church has not been a bright and shining beacon of love and light to effectively heal this sick world.

As I pause to journal this has and will lead to the release of emotions. It has and will lead to the resurfacing of neglected memories. It has and will lead to sensations in my body. All of that is part of the healing process that I have experienced dozens of times before over the decades. It is just that I never set aside a day for marathon journaling.

I know that journaling is not common or popular. But online I have encountered many leaders from various backgrounds that tell stories of how journaling has helped them in all kinds of conditions.

I began to journal many years ago using the Morning Pages that is taught by Julia Cameron  https://juliacameronlive.com/basic-tools/morning-pages/ I have boxes that are filled with legal pads of my journaling. Most mornings I write 3 pages. I strongly encourage you to make this a healthy habit too.

All of this journaling will surely lead me to pray much better. I will have access to fresh thoughts, feelings, insights, and more. I have been gradually converting my walk-in closet into a prayer closet like in the movie War Room. Typically I go in there for a few minutes a few times a day. But I quickly run out of fuel for prayers. This journaling will lead to better prayers today. Plus I will make lists of prompts for prayers later.

PRAYER
Please pray for me to excel at journaling today and consistently for the rest of my life.

CONCLUSION
In conclusion, let me share with you the long version of the Serenity Prayer that has helped me untold numbers of times over the decades. When I have been going through a rough patch I would post a printed copy near my computer monitor. Then I would pray it and reflect on it as often as needed.


This is so important that I will offer you 3 versions.

What follows is the raw text.

Here is a link to a Google Doc where I have laid it out in an attractive way.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FcJ1uZeBXl5j2z0f1KH288tlGCHKlgHfEW02meNIz14/edit?usp=sharing 

And in the attachment, you can access that same Google Doc

Serenity Prayer
(long version)

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change,

courage to change the things I can

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time.

Enjoying one moment at a time.

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace.

Taking as He did this sinful world as it is,

not as I would have it.

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will.

That I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.

Amen

Reinhold Niebuhr