My Disappointments Fueled My Depression

I had become so overcome by the news that I became emotionally paralyzed. 

God answered many prayers and that helped to relieve the symptoms. The Lord led me to talk with various people about how they were dealing with the news about the coronavirus. That gave me a broader and more peaceful perspective. 

There was more besides my fears about that virus harming me or my neighbors who are senior citizens. 

I have felt deeply disappointed in my lack of progress on the many projects I have started and not completed. 

I have felt disappointed that political leaders talk like adolescents. They do not talk and act like the wise elders we need these days. They are not leading us to bridge the many polarizing gaps. They are not facing the hard truths needed to deal with the issues at hand. 

I have felt disappointed that the local churches and most Christians are not obviously salt and light that is required to heal individuals and groups. Christians are known by the outside world for their self-righteousness and not their compassionate care. Thankfully there are some individuals, mission agencies, and parachurch organizations that are clearly Christ-like and getting the biblically mandated jobs done. 

When I objectively review the current state of our nation and the international affairs I feel bad about the next generations. What legacy are we leaving for the children and grandchildren? 

We have all these gee-whiz new technologies. We have all these labor-saving devices, We have all this prosperity so that all our real needs are met and we worry about meeting all our wants. Yet are we so distracted, entertained, over-worked, selfish that we do not notice or care for others? 

We have plenty of news and documentaries about those that cannot help themselves. We give plastic toys that are costly and wear out to children. Yet veterans with PTSD are left to suffer from nightmares when there are proven therapies that are not affordable to them. We click on news headlines about those children at the borders and get outraged. But we do not take great care of battered women and children that are here in our cities. We whine about the weather, taxes, and celerity gossip but do not take measures to get enough sleep, eat healthy foods, and exercise better. 

We could take a little of our blessings to greatly benefit others overseas so that they can have clean water, learn to read, gain a marketable skill, have initial livestock to raise and feed their family. 

I admit that I am an idealist. I find myself in a real-world that is far from ideal. I accept that perfection is not possible. But when I consider history I note that humans for thousands of years before us struggled in ways we cannot imagine just to survive from day-to-day. We are a spoiled people in the USA. I believe we have an obligation to our ancestors that sacrificed for us to do the best with what we have and not just accept mediocracy. 

SERENITY

So the bottom line is that I come back to the Serenity Prayer. 

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and wisdom to know the difference. 

I cannot change how the coronavirus operates. I cannot change the hyped ways it has been reported. 

I cannot change the economic ripples of the disruptions of the supply chain worldwide. 

I can change the ways I deal with my fears and anxieties. I can take precautions to minimize my exposure to this or any illness. I can trust God to meet my needs no matter what happens to the global economy. 

I cannot change the ingrained habits and attitudes of others including my neighbors, church members, fellow citizens, or those thousands of miles away. I can change my own habits and attitudes gradually. 

SLOGANS 

Besides the Serenity Prayer, what has helped me has been to recall and apply the slogans I learned at the 12 step recovery meetings over the decades. 

FIRST THINGS FIRST reminds me to be diligent in reviewing my priorities. I make major and minor adjustments to my priorities each day and week. I use these online tools Kanbanflow www.kanbanflow.com and Mindmup www.mindmup.com I do my best to just focus on the top priorities and trust God for what does not get done. 

EASY DOES IT reminds me to be gentle with myself. It is easy to try to accomplish all the items on my ToDo lists. But that is not possible so I choose to relax and do as much as I can at a gentle pace. 

ONE DAY AT A TIME reminds me to focus the best of my energy on this present day. I can do that best when I have also invested some time to review and review my priorities. I have made it a habit to use part of Mondays to prune my plans for the week and take care of lingering tasks from the past.